It's been a long, but fast day today. I'm kind of sleepy tonight. I got up around six this morning and then I had to be at the mental health clinic by nine. Got a little lost on my way there, but eventually found it. I was driving around in a bad neighborhood at first. Creepy.
When I got to the clinic, I filled out some paperwork and then met with the guy that was assessing me. It took two hours of questions and him summarizing what I had said. I qualify, so that is good. Got diagnosed as bipolar two again from there as well there. Surprise, surprise. I have an appointment with the psychiatrist on the 20th of June. I will have to see my psychiatrist to get medications in the meantime though. Sucks because I can't afford him.
My interview with the unemployment office is Wednesday and they will determine if I qualify to still get benefits. I pray that I do. If not, I will have to take any job that I can live on. It's been no luck so far. This economy sucks. I will leave it up to God. He will take care of me.
I watched one of my sister's two boys today while she went to the dentist. It was about two hours. The two year old woke up grumpy and he doesn't know me that well, so he didn't want to have anything to do with me at first. His brother who I think is eleven now got him out of the portable crib and sat him on his lap for awhile and fed him. After awhile, he started warming up to me. Took awhile though.
I have a hard time with kids. I think I'm just not meant to be a mom. I have my one son and that is enough. I'm fixed now so I don't have to worry about that anymore. He is 15 now. Getting so old and that means I am as well. I don't feel thirty-six, but I am. Just have to keep the youth within me.
MDJ is really slow right now. I will have to see if there are any new diaries I can comment on. Fu is quite slow also, but I'm not really into that tonight. I just got a coffee, but I am tired. I should go to bed soon actually since I got up early and I only slept seven hours last night. I woke up a lot too. Hate that it happens so much these days.
School is going. Some of the students don't answer questions right on the discussions and don't participate as much as they are supposed to. I think they probably have a bad grade. The discussions are kind of monotonous though because everyone says the same answer because it's right. It's hard to comment on the discussions of other classmates posts because we all say basically the same things. I just have to do it even though it sounds the same though because I want my participation points and discussion question points that we get for our grade.
I moved my second desk from the living room into my bedroom so I have more room to put office stuff. Now I have two desks in my room. It looks good though. I like it. I have two workstations now that I can use and my main desk isn't so cluttered. It makes it easier to do schoolwork when it's not cluttered with stuff all over it.
Monday, April 30, 2012
Sunday, April 29, 2012
4/29/12
I haven't been up to much lately. Just worrying about things. I've spent most of my time at home like I usually do on the internet. Keeping busy on MDJ, my email, Facebook, and another social networking site. Of course I have school to keep me busy also. It's getting a little harder as time is going by. More homework and assignments to do through the student website.
One of my worries is that I won't be approved for the program that allows you to collect unemployment while I'm in school. I pray that I do get approval. I was honest and marked on the paper on my last claim that I started school. I haven't gotten my unemployment benefits for the last two weeks deposited in my account. I guess I won't until I am approved. I have a telephone interview on the 2nd, so hopefully I will learn more on that then.
Another worry is the mental health clinic. I have to qualify and I don't know what qualifies you. I see them on Monday. They are going to do an assessment on me I guess for their records. I don't know why since I've already been diagnosed. After the assessment, they will tell me if I qualify or not. It's taken me over a month and half to get them to call me. I hope they can help me with medications or I'm screwed. I can't afford to buy my medications especially if I get denied my unemployment. That will suck if I don't get them. Going off medications would be hard and I would become unstable again.
I talked to my sister for like three and half hours yesterday. She's the one that can go on forever. She had her wine and was a talking machine. I finally got off the phone around 12:45 am. I woke up at 7:00 this morning surprisingly. I will probably have to take a nap this afternoon because I only got six hours of sleep.
My oldest sister is going to the mountains where we used to live to visit family. She asked me if I wanted to go, but I told her no. I don't feel like going up there and the drive always tires me out. I just don't want to. She will probably try to convince me to go before she leaves this afternoon. I'll just have to say no again. I really don't like going to that town.
B came over last Thursday. That was a shock. I don't think we had seen each other in over a month. It was nice to see him. He had to drive his friend to his roller derby match that he coaches six hours away this weekend. He's returning today, but he'll probably be tired. I think I'll just leave him be.
I've been talking to a friend online a lot lately. He's a great guy with bipolar like I have and we have good conversation. I give him advice and he gives me advice. It's all about being there for each other. It's cool to have nice conversations with someone for once. Maybe it will be a really good friendship and we can support each other and enjoy each other for years to come.
One of my worries is that I won't be approved for the program that allows you to collect unemployment while I'm in school. I pray that I do get approval. I was honest and marked on the paper on my last claim that I started school. I haven't gotten my unemployment benefits for the last two weeks deposited in my account. I guess I won't until I am approved. I have a telephone interview on the 2nd, so hopefully I will learn more on that then.
Another worry is the mental health clinic. I have to qualify and I don't know what qualifies you. I see them on Monday. They are going to do an assessment on me I guess for their records. I don't know why since I've already been diagnosed. After the assessment, they will tell me if I qualify or not. It's taken me over a month and half to get them to call me. I hope they can help me with medications or I'm screwed. I can't afford to buy my medications especially if I get denied my unemployment. That will suck if I don't get them. Going off medications would be hard and I would become unstable again.
I talked to my sister for like three and half hours yesterday. She's the one that can go on forever. She had her wine and was a talking machine. I finally got off the phone around 12:45 am. I woke up at 7:00 this morning surprisingly. I will probably have to take a nap this afternoon because I only got six hours of sleep.
My oldest sister is going to the mountains where we used to live to visit family. She asked me if I wanted to go, but I told her no. I don't feel like going up there and the drive always tires me out. I just don't want to. She will probably try to convince me to go before she leaves this afternoon. I'll just have to say no again. I really don't like going to that town.
B came over last Thursday. That was a shock. I don't think we had seen each other in over a month. It was nice to see him. He had to drive his friend to his roller derby match that he coaches six hours away this weekend. He's returning today, but he'll probably be tired. I think I'll just leave him be.
I've been talking to a friend online a lot lately. He's a great guy with bipolar like I have and we have good conversation. I give him advice and he gives me advice. It's all about being there for each other. It's cool to have nice conversations with someone for once. Maybe it will be a really good friendship and we can support each other and enjoy each other for years to come.
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
4/24/12
It's been a long hard day for me today for some reason. I woke up late. Almost at 11:00 this morning. I had a knock on the door that woke me up thank God. I had the plumber at the flat yesterday because my dishwasher wasn't working and the toilet was leaking. They fixed the dishwasher, but the toilet was toast. They had to get a new one. They came by when they woke me up to install it. It took about an hour and half and they were on their way. Now I have a brand new toilet. Nice and clean.
I've been working on a lot of schoolwork today. I think I spent too much time using my brain and it drained me. I had to get up and walk away for awhile. I'm trying to do a good job and I hope that I am. My brain just isn't great at doing things like it used to. I'm getting the hang of it though. I'm just going to do my best. I will have a busy day tomorrow with school also. I have an assignment due tomorrow by midnight. I'm sure I will get it done before then, but the discussion and participation posts take awhile sometimes trying to find a reply to post on. The answers are so similar between all of us classmates.
I only left the apartment to get a coffee today. I didn't feel like leaving and I didn't want to go to the store. I need to though, so maybe I'll do that tomorrow. I was busy anyway. I did take breaks from homework to watch some episodes of Supernatural. I'm getting farther and farther in the series. I just love that show. It keeps me really entertained.
My mood is good. This is always a plus. I have medications so far, but I'm going to run out eventually and not too far from now. I hope to get qualified for the mental health clinic on Monday. I hope they don't say that I make too much to get help. The medications are very expensive. There is no way I could pay for them.
I'm stressing about my unemployment as usual. I had to mark that I started school on my claim form and I don't know what they are going to do about it. I hope they approve me so I can continue to claim my funds. This is really weighing on my mind. It's got me worried. I don't need this worry in my life. I've got enough things on my mind. I did inquire about the program they have with people that go to school, so hopefully they will approve me. I just pray they do.
I've been working on a lot of schoolwork today. I think I spent too much time using my brain and it drained me. I had to get up and walk away for awhile. I'm trying to do a good job and I hope that I am. My brain just isn't great at doing things like it used to. I'm getting the hang of it though. I'm just going to do my best. I will have a busy day tomorrow with school also. I have an assignment due tomorrow by midnight. I'm sure I will get it done before then, but the discussion and participation posts take awhile sometimes trying to find a reply to post on. The answers are so similar between all of us classmates.
I only left the apartment to get a coffee today. I didn't feel like leaving and I didn't want to go to the store. I need to though, so maybe I'll do that tomorrow. I was busy anyway. I did take breaks from homework to watch some episodes of Supernatural. I'm getting farther and farther in the series. I just love that show. It keeps me really entertained.
My mood is good. This is always a plus. I have medications so far, but I'm going to run out eventually and not too far from now. I hope to get qualified for the mental health clinic on Monday. I hope they don't say that I make too much to get help. The medications are very expensive. There is no way I could pay for them.
I'm stressing about my unemployment as usual. I had to mark that I started school on my claim form and I don't know what they are going to do about it. I hope they approve me so I can continue to claim my funds. This is really weighing on my mind. It's got me worried. I don't need this worry in my life. I've got enough things on my mind. I did inquire about the program they have with people that go to school, so hopefully they will approve me. I just pray they do.
Sunday, April 22, 2012
4/22/12
It's 1:30 on Sunday morning. I'm still up because my oldest sister is on the phone. Was on the phone with her for 2 hours the first time and then she called back and I've been on the phone for 1 1/2 hours again so far. Damn that girl can talk. She's had a bottle of wine is why. She can go on and on when she's had something to drink. I'm cutting her off at 2:00 if we are still talking by then. That's it.
It's been a couple of days doing nothing. Just staying at home and doing schoolwork. I did leave the flat to mail my unemployment claim off, but that was it. I'm getting tired because it's so late. I'm going to sleep in tomorrow I'm sure because it's so late to be awake.
Nothing is going on online right now. MDJ is really slow because no one is posting. Fu is going slow also, but I'm liking and rating as they show up in my news feed. Not getting any emails either. It's just too late for people to be up and at em. I spilled sugar all over my kitchen floor. Great. I've got to clean tomorrow.
I finally got a hold of my landlord and she is going to send someone to fix the heater, toilet, and dishwasher. I forgot about the fan though, so I need to call her back about that. She said that she didn't know I had called because her phone doesn't tell her when she gets a message. I've never heard of that before.
I met someone online again. He's pretty cool. I really like him because we can relate. Both of us have bipolar type 2 and have a lot in common. Maybe it will turn into a really good friendship. You never know. Good friends are hard to find. I don't have any real good friends. No one I can really count on if I really needed them.
Tomorrow, well today actually, I will probably be lazy. I will be waking up late and then just getting online. Maybe go get a coffee from Starbucks. My mood has still been good. I'm glad I got my Viibryd samples from my psychiatrist's office. That was worrying me. I didn't want to go through withdrawals. They suck big time. Brain zaps are annoying.
It's been a couple of days doing nothing. Just staying at home and doing schoolwork. I did leave the flat to mail my unemployment claim off, but that was it. I'm getting tired because it's so late. I'm going to sleep in tomorrow I'm sure because it's so late to be awake.
Nothing is going on online right now. MDJ is really slow because no one is posting. Fu is going slow also, but I'm liking and rating as they show up in my news feed. Not getting any emails either. It's just too late for people to be up and at em. I spilled sugar all over my kitchen floor. Great. I've got to clean tomorrow.
I finally got a hold of my landlord and she is going to send someone to fix the heater, toilet, and dishwasher. I forgot about the fan though, so I need to call her back about that. She said that she didn't know I had called because her phone doesn't tell her when she gets a message. I've never heard of that before.
I met someone online again. He's pretty cool. I really like him because we can relate. Both of us have bipolar type 2 and have a lot in common. Maybe it will turn into a really good friendship. You never know. Good friends are hard to find. I don't have any real good friends. No one I can really count on if I really needed them.
Tomorrow, well today actually, I will probably be lazy. I will be waking up late and then just getting online. Maybe go get a coffee from Starbucks. My mood has still been good. I'm glad I got my Viibryd samples from my psychiatrist's office. That was worrying me. I didn't want to go through withdrawals. They suck big time. Brain zaps are annoying.
Thursday, April 19, 2012
4/19/12
I got up at 2:00 this morning until 4:00 then I went back to bed until 7:00. I don't know why I wake up so many times in the night and stay up. I'm getting used to it though. I think I probably went to bed around 10:30 last night, so I wasn't up too late. I was really tired because I got up at 4:00 yesterday morning.
I watch a few episodes of Supernatural. I love that t.v. show. They guys are so good looking. It's got a really good plot too in my opinion. Something fun to watch and a little suspenseful at times. I had veggies and potatoes for dinner. It was yummy. Spent a lot of time chatting with people on MDJ. They seemed to want to chat yesterday afternoon and night.
I got a label maker yesterday. Now my file cabinet is looking good with the files nicely labeled and organized. I can use it for anything though. It was on sale for $19.99 where it's usually $49.99. I think I got a good deal. $30 difference. I also took back some car seat covers and got some different ones and hopefully they will fit my car. In the summer you sweat and burn yourself and in the winter you freeze. The seats in my car are leather. It sucks. My son complains every summer and I complain all year round.
I wasn't able to do an assessment yesterday because my mouse would disappear when I opened the window to do it on my desktop. I called technical assistance but they said something was installed on my computer that was making it not work, so they couldn't help me. I ended up doing the test today, which is late, on my laptop. Good thing I have that. It's old, but it still works.
I still need to go in and do discussion and participation posts along with assignments for the week. I'm just not feeling it today for some reason. I don't think I'm tired, I'm just out of it or something. I need to get out of this funk. I'm not wanting to deal with school at all. I have to though. I will in a couple of hours. I think I will take some aspirin and see how I feel.
This morning I called my psychiatrist's office and the secretary was there, so I got in my car and headed over there. I only live about 2 minutes from them driving. We had to look for the samples that I needed because they weren't in the place he said they were. He is out until May 1st due to a hip replacement. So, I got my samples and made an appointment. I haven't heard from the mental health clinic yet. Damn them.
I'm kind of grumpy today and I hope my mood improves. I don't have a clue why either. Maybe I should just go back to bed and start over. That might be a good thing to do. I don't have any plans today, so I'll probably stay home. Will write later.
I watch a few episodes of Supernatural. I love that t.v. show. They guys are so good looking. It's got a really good plot too in my opinion. Something fun to watch and a little suspenseful at times. I had veggies and potatoes for dinner. It was yummy. Spent a lot of time chatting with people on MDJ. They seemed to want to chat yesterday afternoon and night.
I got a label maker yesterday. Now my file cabinet is looking good with the files nicely labeled and organized. I can use it for anything though. It was on sale for $19.99 where it's usually $49.99. I think I got a good deal. $30 difference. I also took back some car seat covers and got some different ones and hopefully they will fit my car. In the summer you sweat and burn yourself and in the winter you freeze. The seats in my car are leather. It sucks. My son complains every summer and I complain all year round.
I wasn't able to do an assessment yesterday because my mouse would disappear when I opened the window to do it on my desktop. I called technical assistance but they said something was installed on my computer that was making it not work, so they couldn't help me. I ended up doing the test today, which is late, on my laptop. Good thing I have that. It's old, but it still works.
I still need to go in and do discussion and participation posts along with assignments for the week. I'm just not feeling it today for some reason. I don't think I'm tired, I'm just out of it or something. I need to get out of this funk. I'm not wanting to deal with school at all. I have to though. I will in a couple of hours. I think I will take some aspirin and see how I feel.
This morning I called my psychiatrist's office and the secretary was there, so I got in my car and headed over there. I only live about 2 minutes from them driving. We had to look for the samples that I needed because they weren't in the place he said they were. He is out until May 1st due to a hip replacement. So, I got my samples and made an appointment. I haven't heard from the mental health clinic yet. Damn them.
I'm kind of grumpy today and I hope my mood improves. I don't have a clue why either. Maybe I should just go back to bed and start over. That might be a good thing to do. I don't have any plans today, so I'll probably stay home. Will write later.
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
4/18/12
Hump day! Half way through the week. Time flies when you are busy. I've been busy on the internet with school and reading materials. All of our "books" are on the school website. I just print the materials out and highlight as I go the important parts of it. I could just read it off the internet, but I learn better with seeing it on a piece of paper where I can write things down and highlight. I can then go back and re-read so that I answer the questions I'm being asked right.
I'm liking school pretty well. It's a lot of work. It seems that I have more homework this week than last week. Maybe it will get harder every week we move on. I hope not. I am learning a lot about the subjects I'm on though. I actually don't really mind school. It's the fear of me not getting an A that I have to deal with. I try to do everything perfect and I've got to stop that and relax a little bit.
The last few days have been pretty uneventful. Not much to do. I got a carbon monoxide detector yesterday for my flat. I guess it's the law that you have to have one now. My landlord certainly didn't buy me one. I should take it out of the rent. I called her too the other day, but she hasn't called me back yet. I have things I need fixed in my flat. My heater is blowing out cold air. It's not exactly summer and it gets cold at night. My toilet is leaking, so that needs to be attended to. My fan in my bedroom throws sparks at me and the dishwasher isn't shooting any water. Something is wrong with all these things and she needs to fix them. I'm going to be in a bad mood with her. I'm going to have to call her again and she will have to take action. I'm the renter, it's not my responsibility.
I've been kicking ass on MDJ. Answering most posts. Especially if no one has answered one even if I don't relate. People need support and I'm trying to give it to them. Quite a few people communicate with me regularly through the messages on the site. It's nice to be able to help and have people appreciate it. I know when I need support I will get it right back from them.
I've been getting headaches lately. I don't know why, but they need to disappear. I've also been dreaming quite a bit. It's usually about my boyfriend. He treats me badly like ignores me when people are around and not inviting me places. Showing no affection. He is like this, but not as bad as in the dreams and it upsets me. I know there are meanings to dreams, but I don't know those meanings. I think maybe I'm telling myself to move on because of the way I get treated. It's not abuse really, but in a way it is. It's just sad. After being together on and off for twelve years it should be different. Do things together like normal people do in relationships.
I haven't been on Fu a lot the last few days. There are people I don't want to chat with, so I don't want them to know I'm online. They annoy me. If they do try to chat with me, I usually just ignore them. I'm not in the mood lately to chat with the people I usually chat with. Same goes for Yahoo. Most of the people I have myself hidden from. Everyone talks about the same things and it gets old. I still enjoy the site though. There are some really nice people that I have met.
I woke up at 4:00 this morning. I guess I'd had enough sleep. I got online and then around 5:30 I headed to Starbucks to get me a coffee and came back home. I thought maybe I would go back to sleep, but surprisingly I didn't. I feel a little tired, but not enough to sleep. I'll probably take a nap later on.
I still haven't heard from the mental health clinic. I called them yesterday. They said they would get to me within two weeks. They say that every time I get in touch with them. I was kind of short with the lady. She said she would make a note for them to call me. They better soon because I'm needing medications. I don't want to have to go off them.
My mood has been good. Nothing has upset me except for the unemployment things. I have to mark that I started school on this next form I am sending in and I'm nervous that I'm going to lose my unemployment benefits. They did note on my case that I contacted them about the program they have that you have to be approved for. I really hope they approve me. It's not like I'm quitting looking for work. I still need to find a job of course. I just can't take any old job out there. I have to be able to survive on what I make. I just pray that I keep getting it.
I'm liking school pretty well. It's a lot of work. It seems that I have more homework this week than last week. Maybe it will get harder every week we move on. I hope not. I am learning a lot about the subjects I'm on though. I actually don't really mind school. It's the fear of me not getting an A that I have to deal with. I try to do everything perfect and I've got to stop that and relax a little bit.
The last few days have been pretty uneventful. Not much to do. I got a carbon monoxide detector yesterday for my flat. I guess it's the law that you have to have one now. My landlord certainly didn't buy me one. I should take it out of the rent. I called her too the other day, but she hasn't called me back yet. I have things I need fixed in my flat. My heater is blowing out cold air. It's not exactly summer and it gets cold at night. My toilet is leaking, so that needs to be attended to. My fan in my bedroom throws sparks at me and the dishwasher isn't shooting any water. Something is wrong with all these things and she needs to fix them. I'm going to be in a bad mood with her. I'm going to have to call her again and she will have to take action. I'm the renter, it's not my responsibility.
I've been kicking ass on MDJ. Answering most posts. Especially if no one has answered one even if I don't relate. People need support and I'm trying to give it to them. Quite a few people communicate with me regularly through the messages on the site. It's nice to be able to help and have people appreciate it. I know when I need support I will get it right back from them.
I've been getting headaches lately. I don't know why, but they need to disappear. I've also been dreaming quite a bit. It's usually about my boyfriend. He treats me badly like ignores me when people are around and not inviting me places. Showing no affection. He is like this, but not as bad as in the dreams and it upsets me. I know there are meanings to dreams, but I don't know those meanings. I think maybe I'm telling myself to move on because of the way I get treated. It's not abuse really, but in a way it is. It's just sad. After being together on and off for twelve years it should be different. Do things together like normal people do in relationships.
I haven't been on Fu a lot the last few days. There are people I don't want to chat with, so I don't want them to know I'm online. They annoy me. If they do try to chat with me, I usually just ignore them. I'm not in the mood lately to chat with the people I usually chat with. Same goes for Yahoo. Most of the people I have myself hidden from. Everyone talks about the same things and it gets old. I still enjoy the site though. There are some really nice people that I have met.
I woke up at 4:00 this morning. I guess I'd had enough sleep. I got online and then around 5:30 I headed to Starbucks to get me a coffee and came back home. I thought maybe I would go back to sleep, but surprisingly I didn't. I feel a little tired, but not enough to sleep. I'll probably take a nap later on.
I still haven't heard from the mental health clinic. I called them yesterday. They said they would get to me within two weeks. They say that every time I get in touch with them. I was kind of short with the lady. She said she would make a note for them to call me. They better soon because I'm needing medications. I don't want to have to go off them.
My mood has been good. Nothing has upset me except for the unemployment things. I have to mark that I started school on this next form I am sending in and I'm nervous that I'm going to lose my unemployment benefits. They did note on my case that I contacted them about the program they have that you have to be approved for. I really hope they approve me. It's not like I'm quitting looking for work. I still need to find a job of course. I just can't take any old job out there. I have to be able to survive on what I make. I just pray that I keep getting it.
Sunday, April 15, 2012
4/15/12
I'm bored, bored, bored. MDJ is not working, that is my lifeline. The page says that the website isn't available. This is cramping my style. I hope they fix whatever is going on with it soon so I can get on there and do stuff. I've got people to support! Fu is pretty boring, so I've just been checking in on that one. Facebook is boring as usual. I can't believe how into Facebook I used to be. Now it's just not as interesting. It's a good way to connect with people, but I'm just not into it like I was.
My oldest sister wanted me to go out with her and her friends last night. I got ready, but didn't end up going. I just didn't feel like it. Really didn't want to deal with a bunch of drunks either. I just went to bed at 10. She called me at 11 to let me know she was home okay. I woke up at midnight, then again at 2:30 and I've been up ever since. Don't know why, just am.
I went to the grocery store this morning at 5 and got some stuff then got a coffee from Starbucks. Unloaded the shit I got at the store and then hopped online. I ended up watching some more episodes of Supernatural on Netflix for awhile. I love that show. The main guys are so good looking. I love their attitudes in the show also.
I went to TJMaxx last night just browsing around. I ran across some martini glasses. There were supposed to be four, but there were only three in the box. It was only $3, so I bought them. Who cares if one is missing. I also found me a hair stopper for the shower/tub. It blocks the hair from your head from going down the drain. For some reason I lose hair. This way it doesn't clog my drain up and I don't have to use Draino to clear it out.
School is going good. My first week is done. It's hard to stay on top of discussion questions and participation posts. I feel like I'm responding to people with the same things since we all basically have the same answers. I hope to work out some way to change it around a bit. I've turned in all my assignments so far. At least I hope I have. I have them all marked off anyway. I'm more comfortable with the student website now, so I am getting faster at navigating it. I think it's going to be a good experience. I'm going to get an Associate's out of it, so it will be worth it. Then onto the Bachelor's and Master's. Can't wait to work doing what I love doing.
My oldest sister wanted me to go out with her and her friends last night. I got ready, but didn't end up going. I just didn't feel like it. Really didn't want to deal with a bunch of drunks either. I just went to bed at 10. She called me at 11 to let me know she was home okay. I woke up at midnight, then again at 2:30 and I've been up ever since. Don't know why, just am.
I went to the grocery store this morning at 5 and got some stuff then got a coffee from Starbucks. Unloaded the shit I got at the store and then hopped online. I ended up watching some more episodes of Supernatural on Netflix for awhile. I love that show. The main guys are so good looking. I love their attitudes in the show also.
I went to TJMaxx last night just browsing around. I ran across some martini glasses. There were supposed to be four, but there were only three in the box. It was only $3, so I bought them. Who cares if one is missing. I also found me a hair stopper for the shower/tub. It blocks the hair from your head from going down the drain. For some reason I lose hair. This way it doesn't clog my drain up and I don't have to use Draino to clear it out.
School is going good. My first week is done. It's hard to stay on top of discussion questions and participation posts. I feel like I'm responding to people with the same things since we all basically have the same answers. I hope to work out some way to change it around a bit. I've turned in all my assignments so far. At least I hope I have. I have them all marked off anyway. I'm more comfortable with the student website now, so I am getting faster at navigating it. I think it's going to be a good experience. I'm going to get an Associate's out of it, so it will be worth it. Then onto the Bachelor's and Master's. Can't wait to work doing what I love doing.
Saturday, April 14, 2012
4/13/12
Friday the 13th today. All those superstitious people are freaking out today. I'm not one to be that way. Everyone is happy it's Friday. It's just another day to me since I'm not working. There are different shows on t.v. on the weekends when I'm up late, but that's about it.
I turned in my assignments today for the two classes I am in right now. Did all my discussion questions and participation posts. Getting the hang of it. In participation posts, I respond to a classmate's answer and say a little bit of what I think about it. I'm finding it hard to do because a lot of us have the same answers and I feel like I'm repeating myself over and over again. I guess I need to think of ways to get past this.
Yesterday I did my posts and questions and worked on my assignments. It took awhile. It's weird when you sit down to do something and then you look at the time, and it's late. Time can go by really fast when you are really working on something and using your brain. I'm glad my brain is getting stimulated again. I'm dreading math though, I suck at it. I'll have to use the tools on the website to help me with that before the math class starts.
Only left the flat a few times in the last couple of days. Trying to not spend much money. I have to watch it. I've been chatting with a new friend that lives in the same city I live in that I met online. He seems nice. He's a doctor and has come from New York. He wants to meet for coffee. I told him I'd think about it. I don't mind meeting new people in public places, so I may do it.
Tomorrow is Big Hat Days downtown. It's got booths and music and beer. People wear all these crazy hats that they make or buy. I don't know that I am going to go or not. I've never gone in all the years that I've lived here. My older sister and her friends are going out tomorrow night and she wants me to go with her. I don't know if I'm in the mood to do that or not. I'm just not one to go out that much anymore. I don't like the way I feel in the morning either.
If I do go to the bars tomorrow night, I probably won't stay late. I have to drive and I like to be home. Plus of course, I'd be spending money on dinner and drinks. I do hope that my sister has fun with her friends though. She deserves a good time and she never gets out with anyone.
I'm trying to work on my scholarship essay for some scholarships. It's hard to do for me. I'm trying to put on my thinking cap and write about myself, but nothing is coming to me. In time it will. I also need two letters of recommendation to go along with it. I have asked my sister to write one and will ask my boyfriend's mom to write one also.
The mental health clinic still has not called me, so I will have to call them on Monday again. It's taking forever to get through this. I wish they would do what they say. They told me last week that they would be calling me this week. No call from them. I need to get some medications soon.I'm running out and I don't want to go through the withdrawals.
I need to get my disability papers signed for school since I have a mental illness they require this. Even though I am not on disability. It's the fact that I have a disability. My psychiatrist is out from a hip replacement, so I'm going to have to go through his office lady to get some more samples of Viibryd. I guess I'll have to wait on getting my paper signed till May when he will be back. I also need to make an appointment since I don't have a choice at the moment since the mental health isn't coming through in a timely manner.
I am feeling good mood wise, so this is good. I've been really busy on MDJ. Commenting on everyone's discussions and returning emails has kept me busy when I'm not working on schoolwork. I've been watching a lot of the t.v. series Supernatural. I love that show. They have it on Netflix and I'm really enjoying watching them. There is six seasons with twenty two episodes. I started at the beginning. It will take me awhile to get through them. I think I'm finally in the third season.
I turned in my assignments today for the two classes I am in right now. Did all my discussion questions and participation posts. Getting the hang of it. In participation posts, I respond to a classmate's answer and say a little bit of what I think about it. I'm finding it hard to do because a lot of us have the same answers and I feel like I'm repeating myself over and over again. I guess I need to think of ways to get past this.
Yesterday I did my posts and questions and worked on my assignments. It took awhile. It's weird when you sit down to do something and then you look at the time, and it's late. Time can go by really fast when you are really working on something and using your brain. I'm glad my brain is getting stimulated again. I'm dreading math though, I suck at it. I'll have to use the tools on the website to help me with that before the math class starts.
Only left the flat a few times in the last couple of days. Trying to not spend much money. I have to watch it. I've been chatting with a new friend that lives in the same city I live in that I met online. He seems nice. He's a doctor and has come from New York. He wants to meet for coffee. I told him I'd think about it. I don't mind meeting new people in public places, so I may do it.
Tomorrow is Big Hat Days downtown. It's got booths and music and beer. People wear all these crazy hats that they make or buy. I don't know that I am going to go or not. I've never gone in all the years that I've lived here. My older sister and her friends are going out tomorrow night and she wants me to go with her. I don't know if I'm in the mood to do that or not. I'm just not one to go out that much anymore. I don't like the way I feel in the morning either.
If I do go to the bars tomorrow night, I probably won't stay late. I have to drive and I like to be home. Plus of course, I'd be spending money on dinner and drinks. I do hope that my sister has fun with her friends though. She deserves a good time and she never gets out with anyone.
I'm trying to work on my scholarship essay for some scholarships. It's hard to do for me. I'm trying to put on my thinking cap and write about myself, but nothing is coming to me. In time it will. I also need two letters of recommendation to go along with it. I have asked my sister to write one and will ask my boyfriend's mom to write one also.
The mental health clinic still has not called me, so I will have to call them on Monday again. It's taking forever to get through this. I wish they would do what they say. They told me last week that they would be calling me this week. No call from them. I need to get some medications soon.I'm running out and I don't want to go through the withdrawals.
I need to get my disability papers signed for school since I have a mental illness they require this. Even though I am not on disability. It's the fact that I have a disability. My psychiatrist is out from a hip replacement, so I'm going to have to go through his office lady to get some more samples of Viibryd. I guess I'll have to wait on getting my paper signed till May when he will be back. I also need to make an appointment since I don't have a choice at the moment since the mental health isn't coming through in a timely manner.
I am feeling good mood wise, so this is good. I've been really busy on MDJ. Commenting on everyone's discussions and returning emails has kept me busy when I'm not working on schoolwork. I've been watching a lot of the t.v. series Supernatural. I love that show. They have it on Netflix and I'm really enjoying watching them. There is six seasons with twenty two episodes. I started at the beginning. It will take me awhile to get through them. I think I'm finally in the third season.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
4/10/12
Got up at 8:00 this morning. I went to bed at 1:00 a.m. Was just up on the internet. I had my first day of school yesterday. It was okay, kind of overwhelming. I think at the beginning of each class will be overwhelming because it's all new. Plus it's my first time being in an online class. It's very different than in a regular class. I think it will be harder because you are doing it all on your own. You can ask your teacher things though if you have a question. That's a nice thing.
Today, I'm going to try to do all of my assignments and reading today. Plus my discussion questions and participation posts. I think it's better to get things done at the beginning of the week so things are done and all you have to do is participate in discussions and post for participation/attendance. I'm going to do the best I can in these classes. That's my goal.
Yesterday I didn't do much besides school. I went to the grocery store and spent $70 on hardly anything. Food is so expensive these days. It's ridiculous. I talked to my sister for awhile, the oldest one that talks forever, but she was good. It was only for 45 minutes this time.
Her and one of my other sisters called to check on me because I had that pain in my stomach the other day that was so horrible. They were checking on me. That was nice. I hope that pain doesn't come back to get me either. That shit hurt bad. I hope it's not another kidney stone.
I really need to call Alaska about the scholarship they have to see if I am eligible. I'm not sure that I am. I have 1/8 Eskimo in my blood from my mom. I think I have to be 1/4 to be eligible for that scholarship. I guess I'll find out when I call. I'm also going to have to call on a few other ones located in Alaska. It would be really cool though if I could get them. I need two letters of recommendation though and I don't know who I will have do them.
I've been doing a lot on MDJ lately. Helping a lot of people. They always thank me for being there for them. One called me this morning because she was upset. I'm glad that I can be someone positive in their life. In my opinion it's my purpose. To help people. That is why I'm going to school to become a counselor for the mentally ill. We all have a purpose, we just have to find it.
Will see how the day plays out. I should be busy if I'm doing school work. I guess I need to call the mental health clinic too. They are supposed to call me this week, but I have a feeling they won't. I'm going to call my psychiatrist also and make an appointment. I'm just going to have to pay the $125 because I need samples. I need to get a paper signed by him also for school because I have a mental illness. They accommodate you at school like if you need more time to finish a project or something. I don't know all the details. It's good to have though.
I need to hear from unemployment also so I can find out if I can collect while in school. I will still be looking for a job, so in my opinion, I should. I'm not the one in charge though, so they can say anything they want. I just pray that I am able to. I'll be screwed if I can't. I'd have to take any job that will give me on. I don't want to have to do that though because I need a job that pays high enough that I can live on it. I haven't been paying child support because I haven't been able to afford it. I make at most half of what I used to make from my old job.
Did my discussion questions and participation answers for school today and I did some reading that I needed to do for classes. Got a lot done actually. I've watched about 4 episodes of Supernatural. I love that show. I'm watching it from the beginning. I'm on season three now at the beginning. There are six seasons that I have to watch. The seventh season is on t.v. nowadays. I haven't seen too many of those ones. Mainly because I'm watching the ones from earlier seasons up to that. I love Netflix, it's awesome.
I went to my psychiatrist's office to have him sign my disability papers that school requires me to have since I have a mental illness, get some samples, and make an appointment. No one was there. It's strange that they were closed today. They are usually open Tuesday through Thursday. I guess I'll go back tomorrow and try again. They can't be closed again I would think. I'm dreading the $125 charge for the session when I get an appointment.
Today, I'm going to try to do all of my assignments and reading today. Plus my discussion questions and participation posts. I think it's better to get things done at the beginning of the week so things are done and all you have to do is participate in discussions and post for participation/attendance. I'm going to do the best I can in these classes. That's my goal.
Yesterday I didn't do much besides school. I went to the grocery store and spent $70 on hardly anything. Food is so expensive these days. It's ridiculous. I talked to my sister for awhile, the oldest one that talks forever, but she was good. It was only for 45 minutes this time.
Her and one of my other sisters called to check on me because I had that pain in my stomach the other day that was so horrible. They were checking on me. That was nice. I hope that pain doesn't come back to get me either. That shit hurt bad. I hope it's not another kidney stone.
I really need to call Alaska about the scholarship they have to see if I am eligible. I'm not sure that I am. I have 1/8 Eskimo in my blood from my mom. I think I have to be 1/4 to be eligible for that scholarship. I guess I'll find out when I call. I'm also going to have to call on a few other ones located in Alaska. It would be really cool though if I could get them. I need two letters of recommendation though and I don't know who I will have do them.
I've been doing a lot on MDJ lately. Helping a lot of people. They always thank me for being there for them. One called me this morning because she was upset. I'm glad that I can be someone positive in their life. In my opinion it's my purpose. To help people. That is why I'm going to school to become a counselor for the mentally ill. We all have a purpose, we just have to find it.
Will see how the day plays out. I should be busy if I'm doing school work. I guess I need to call the mental health clinic too. They are supposed to call me this week, but I have a feeling they won't. I'm going to call my psychiatrist also and make an appointment. I'm just going to have to pay the $125 because I need samples. I need to get a paper signed by him also for school because I have a mental illness. They accommodate you at school like if you need more time to finish a project or something. I don't know all the details. It's good to have though.
I need to hear from unemployment also so I can find out if I can collect while in school. I will still be looking for a job, so in my opinion, I should. I'm not the one in charge though, so they can say anything they want. I just pray that I am able to. I'll be screwed if I can't. I'd have to take any job that will give me on. I don't want to have to do that though because I need a job that pays high enough that I can live on it. I haven't been paying child support because I haven't been able to afford it. I make at most half of what I used to make from my old job.
Did my discussion questions and participation answers for school today and I did some reading that I needed to do for classes. Got a lot done actually. I've watched about 4 episodes of Supernatural. I love that show. I'm watching it from the beginning. I'm on season three now at the beginning. There are six seasons that I have to watch. The seventh season is on t.v. nowadays. I haven't seen too many of those ones. Mainly because I'm watching the ones from earlier seasons up to that. I love Netflix, it's awesome.
I went to my psychiatrist's office to have him sign my disability papers that school requires me to have since I have a mental illness, get some samples, and make an appointment. No one was there. It's strange that they were closed today. They are usually open Tuesday through Thursday. I guess I'll go back tomorrow and try again. They can't be closed again I would think. I'm dreading the $125 charge for the session when I get an appointment.
Sunday, April 8, 2012
4/812
I slept pretty good. Got up around 9:30 this morning. I was tired because I got home late last night. I had an okay time I guess. Met my sister and her boyfriend for Mexican food and a drink, then we went down a couple of buildings to a bar to play pool, but the pool table was not level and they wouldn't fix it. Dumb. Had a drink there also. Next we went to another bar and were able to play pool there. They only had one pool table, but we put quarters up and won quite a few games. I just watched. I'm not very good at pool.
Around 12:15 I was ready to go. So was my sister. Her boyfriend wanted to go to another bar, but she put her foot down and said they were going back to the hotel. He wasn't happy I could tell. I think it's just not as fun as it used to be. I'm getting too old to be partying at bars except every once in awhile with a bunch of friends going dancing or something. It's just not the same.
I waited till their taxi got there and then I headed home. It was so nice to be home. I got on the computer for a little bit and took some pain killer so I wouldn't have a headache in the morning, then went to bed. I think I only woke up once in the night. Went to bed around 1:00. I was really tired. I only had three drinks, but my drinks are really strong. I had a little buzz for awhile, then when I was ready to go home, it was gone.
I just mailed off my every two week unemployment form for the last two weeks. I should just do it online. I'm really scared that they will cut me off because of school. I hope not. I don't know what I will do if they do. I am worrying now and I hate to have to worry. I will still be looking for a job. I need one. There shouldn't be any problems. I can do the homework at night. I just pray they approve it for me. That will lift a weight off my shoulders.
I was supposed to go to my dad's today, but I'm just not feeling well. I had that really bad pain in my stomach twice yesterday and I can still feel it throbbing a little bit on the right side of my stomach. I don't know what it is. I also didn't want to drive up there. It wears me out. I feel bad, but what can you do right? I don't know if any of my sisters went at all. Most of my sisters had their own plans with their families. That's what happens when you have your own family. I really should go visit my dad though one day soon. He misses me I'm sure.
I only left the flat once so far today. It was to mail the unemployment sheet off and get a coffee. I also stopped at Walgreens to get some vasaline and got a few other things. I'm going to start putting vaseline under my eyes and where wrinkles are starting to show. My oldest sister told me about that trick. She said it works, so it's worth a try. I don't want to get wrinkly yet. I'm still young.
Nothing much going on today at all. I'm just on my computer on MDJ and Fu and email. It's kind of boring to me. My mood is good except I'm anxious about getting my unemployment approved for school. I will be anxious until I find out what will happen. Other than that my mood is going great. I'm getting nervous though because I am running out of my antidepressant. I need to get with my regular psychiatrist I guess. It just costs so much to see him and I really need to save my money. I have to do what I have to do though.
I called the county mental health clinic and asked about when I would get a call regarding an appointment. They searched for my paperwork and then said I should be getting a call next week. They better call me. I need help very soon. I need to be able to take care of my mental health needs. Can't be stuck without medications. I will go through withdrawals bad with the medications I am on. It's scary to think about. It would make me sick.
Well, guess I'll look for something to do on the internet that could be fun for me. Facebook is just really boring for me. I check in every once in awhile and see if anyone has put any funny statuses up or like a picture or something, but other than that, I think it's pretty boring. May write later on.
Around 12:15 I was ready to go. So was my sister. Her boyfriend wanted to go to another bar, but she put her foot down and said they were going back to the hotel. He wasn't happy I could tell. I think it's just not as fun as it used to be. I'm getting too old to be partying at bars except every once in awhile with a bunch of friends going dancing or something. It's just not the same.
I waited till their taxi got there and then I headed home. It was so nice to be home. I got on the computer for a little bit and took some pain killer so I wouldn't have a headache in the morning, then went to bed. I think I only woke up once in the night. Went to bed around 1:00. I was really tired. I only had three drinks, but my drinks are really strong. I had a little buzz for awhile, then when I was ready to go home, it was gone.
I just mailed off my every two week unemployment form for the last two weeks. I should just do it online. I'm really scared that they will cut me off because of school. I hope not. I don't know what I will do if they do. I am worrying now and I hate to have to worry. I will still be looking for a job. I need one. There shouldn't be any problems. I can do the homework at night. I just pray they approve it for me. That will lift a weight off my shoulders.
I was supposed to go to my dad's today, but I'm just not feeling well. I had that really bad pain in my stomach twice yesterday and I can still feel it throbbing a little bit on the right side of my stomach. I don't know what it is. I also didn't want to drive up there. It wears me out. I feel bad, but what can you do right? I don't know if any of my sisters went at all. Most of my sisters had their own plans with their families. That's what happens when you have your own family. I really should go visit my dad though one day soon. He misses me I'm sure.
I only left the flat once so far today. It was to mail the unemployment sheet off and get a coffee. I also stopped at Walgreens to get some vasaline and got a few other things. I'm going to start putting vaseline under my eyes and where wrinkles are starting to show. My oldest sister told me about that trick. She said it works, so it's worth a try. I don't want to get wrinkly yet. I'm still young.
Nothing much going on today at all. I'm just on my computer on MDJ and Fu and email. It's kind of boring to me. My mood is good except I'm anxious about getting my unemployment approved for school. I will be anxious until I find out what will happen. Other than that my mood is going great. I'm getting nervous though because I am running out of my antidepressant. I need to get with my regular psychiatrist I guess. It just costs so much to see him and I really need to save my money. I have to do what I have to do though.
I called the county mental health clinic and asked about when I would get a call regarding an appointment. They searched for my paperwork and then said I should be getting a call next week. They better call me. I need help very soon. I need to be able to take care of my mental health needs. Can't be stuck without medications. I will go through withdrawals bad with the medications I am on. It's scary to think about. It would make me sick.
Well, guess I'll look for something to do on the internet that could be fun for me. Facebook is just really boring for me. I check in every once in awhile and see if anyone has put any funny statuses up or like a picture or something, but other than that, I think it's pretty boring. May write later on.
Saturday, April 7, 2012
4/7/12
I got up around 9:00 this morning and got on the computer like I always do, but I got overcome with pain on my right side of my stomach. I began sweating and it hurt so bad. I could hardly move. I ended up laying down for awhile, then I had to go get my hair cut. Did that and grabbed me a coffee on the way home, I was craving one.
Well, I get home and drink my coffee and that pain starts again. I felt like crying it hurt so bad. It calmed down a little bit and I fell asleep for about an hour and half. It still is throbbing a little bit. I don't know what is going on, but it felt like a knife was stuck in my stomach and it was twisting. I hope it's not another kidney stone. That would suck.
I don't know if I'm going to keep my hairstylist or not. It's just so far and she never cuts it short enough in the back. I like it to stick up all messy. So, I think I may look for a new one. You gotta like what you are getting with a service.
My younger sister and he boyfriend are here in my city and they are going out to dinner tonight and want me to come. They are taking a taxi to the restaurant. That means they plan on drinking tonight or they would have driven. I told them I would meet them. They said they would pick me up here, but I don't want to be stuck without a car. That wouldn't be good at all. It's not too far away from my flat really.
So, I guess that is my plan for the evening. I think we are getting Mexican food. I hope my stomach doesn't act up or I'll have to leave. I've done pretty much nothing today but be on the computer. My stomach hurt me for a couple of hours each time it happened. Then afterward I laid on the bed and then fell asleep for awhile.
Last night I went over to my older sisters and another one of our sisters came over too with her three girls. We were all on our computers and visiting. I left at 11:00. I'd had enough and was ready to go home. My oldest sister kept trying to get me to stay so she wouldn't have to put up with the other sister, but nope, I was done. I went home, stayed up for a little bit, then went to sleep. I woke up a couple of times in the night.
Tomorrow I'm supposed to go to my dad's, but not if I'm not feeling good. I really don't want to go anywhere, but I will feel bad. I think two of my four sisters are going over there. It's an hour drive which I hate making, but it's Easter. The problem is that they make dinner so late that I leave before eating since I won't drive that highway at night. Usually I'm leaving when everyone is showing up. It's not right. They should have it earlier in my opinion if they want me to go.
The ex-husband called me earlier and I just wasn't in the mood to talk. He said I was being short with him. I told him I didn't really feel well, but he said he'd talk to me later. Funny. I text my son, he is at his aunt's babysitting. Fun fun. I think he'd rather be doing something else.
I start school on Monday and I'm getting a call from my personal coach to walk me through the first day. It's good that they provide that for us and not just throw us to the wolves. I'm really glad they had the orientation for us to learn the online learning system. I'd be lost without that. I've got to get used to doing homework again. I have to make sure I do it all and get a good grade. It's important that I do this so I can advance and become a mental illness counselor like I want to be.
Well, here's to tonight. I'll probably have a couple of drinks with them. Hopefully not too many. I've got to drive. I am glad that I am close though. I love my little city within Fresno. It's got everything and I rarely have to head into Fresno for anything. I just stay in Clovis.
Well, I get home and drink my coffee and that pain starts again. I felt like crying it hurt so bad. It calmed down a little bit and I fell asleep for about an hour and half. It still is throbbing a little bit. I don't know what is going on, but it felt like a knife was stuck in my stomach and it was twisting. I hope it's not another kidney stone. That would suck.
I don't know if I'm going to keep my hairstylist or not. It's just so far and she never cuts it short enough in the back. I like it to stick up all messy. So, I think I may look for a new one. You gotta like what you are getting with a service.
My younger sister and he boyfriend are here in my city and they are going out to dinner tonight and want me to come. They are taking a taxi to the restaurant. That means they plan on drinking tonight or they would have driven. I told them I would meet them. They said they would pick me up here, but I don't want to be stuck without a car. That wouldn't be good at all. It's not too far away from my flat really.
So, I guess that is my plan for the evening. I think we are getting Mexican food. I hope my stomach doesn't act up or I'll have to leave. I've done pretty much nothing today but be on the computer. My stomach hurt me for a couple of hours each time it happened. Then afterward I laid on the bed and then fell asleep for awhile.
Last night I went over to my older sisters and another one of our sisters came over too with her three girls. We were all on our computers and visiting. I left at 11:00. I'd had enough and was ready to go home. My oldest sister kept trying to get me to stay so she wouldn't have to put up with the other sister, but nope, I was done. I went home, stayed up for a little bit, then went to sleep. I woke up a couple of times in the night.
Tomorrow I'm supposed to go to my dad's, but not if I'm not feeling good. I really don't want to go anywhere, but I will feel bad. I think two of my four sisters are going over there. It's an hour drive which I hate making, but it's Easter. The problem is that they make dinner so late that I leave before eating since I won't drive that highway at night. Usually I'm leaving when everyone is showing up. It's not right. They should have it earlier in my opinion if they want me to go.
The ex-husband called me earlier and I just wasn't in the mood to talk. He said I was being short with him. I told him I didn't really feel well, but he said he'd talk to me later. Funny. I text my son, he is at his aunt's babysitting. Fun fun. I think he'd rather be doing something else.
I start school on Monday and I'm getting a call from my personal coach to walk me through the first day. It's good that they provide that for us and not just throw us to the wolves. I'm really glad they had the orientation for us to learn the online learning system. I'd be lost without that. I've got to get used to doing homework again. I have to make sure I do it all and get a good grade. It's important that I do this so I can advance and become a mental illness counselor like I want to be.
Well, here's to tonight. I'll probably have a couple of drinks with them. Hopefully not too many. I've got to drive. I am glad that I am close though. I love my little city within Fresno. It's got everything and I rarely have to head into Fresno for anything. I just stay in Clovis.
Friday, April 6, 2012
4/5/12
It's 1:15 in the morning and I was asleep for about an hour or so, but woke up. Story of my life. It's pretty boring online right now. I guess people sleep out there. He he. It's crazy how much time I spend on the internet. Hours at a time. There's just a lot to do, especially for school. That is starting full-time on Monday.
I'm really stressing my unemployment while in school. I've tried to call the unemployment office numerous times and I get the recording saying that with the number of calls already waiting they can't take my call at this time and to call back. Well, how am I supposed to report school if I can't get through. I've probably already bitched about this on here, but it's really pissing me off. I sent an email to them and hopefully someone will call me. I need my unemployment though. I'm still looking for jobs and school won't affect it because I need a job, so of course I'll be looking.
Today I didn't really do much. I left the flat a couple of times. My sister that I talk on the phone to for hours on end didn't call me. I really wasn't in the mood to talk for a long period of time though, so that is good. She had stayed up really late on Wednesday night. I had woken up around 2:00 a.m. and she was still awake. She had to work too, so she had to have been tired. I think she was drinking her wine and on Facebook.
MDJ has been fairly steady today with discussions. It has kept me busy. Fu also, but I sometimes have to wait for the people to show up on my screen to like and rate. It's just a big game, but I like to meet people online there. A lot of people are really into the game. It's funny how serious they are about it. They want points so bad.
I bought Microsoft Office 2010 today through my school. It was $100 and it better not expire on me. Sometimes you rent the damn thing and I hope this isn't the case. I have 2007, so that's better than nothing, but I like the 2010 edition. That's what I used at work when I was there. I miss work actually. I am more relaxed though since I've been off. People notice this. I didn't notice I was stressed.
I think I will call the mental health tomorrow. I haven't heard from them and it's been over two weeks. They said withing two weeks they'd be calling me and get me in there to see what I qualify for. I hope everything. I need my medications so I don't freak out on people. I can not imagine going through the withdrawals if I couldn't get any medications. I'm getting really low on my antidepressant. I'm probably going to have to see my regular psychiatrist and pay his fee so I can get some more samples. That will cost me $125 for 20 minutes.
I've got to get into student mode. School starts in three days now. I sure hope I do well. I think I will as long as I don't get behind or goof off while I'm supposed to be studying or doing homework. I take school pretty seriously though, so I shouldn't have a problem. I'm dreading all the papers I'm going to have to write though. I think it's quite a lot.
I'm working on my scholarship essay. I did most of it today. It's basically about mental illness and wanting to become a mental illness counselor. That's why I'm going to school in the first place. I don't know if I'm writing a good one or not, but I'm writing it. I hope I get the scholarships that I apply for. That would be really nice to have so I don't have to pay back as much debt as I would have. I think I'll be up for a little bit, then go to sleep. I am tired, I just am not ready to hop in bed yet.
I'm really stressing my unemployment while in school. I've tried to call the unemployment office numerous times and I get the recording saying that with the number of calls already waiting they can't take my call at this time and to call back. Well, how am I supposed to report school if I can't get through. I've probably already bitched about this on here, but it's really pissing me off. I sent an email to them and hopefully someone will call me. I need my unemployment though. I'm still looking for jobs and school won't affect it because I need a job, so of course I'll be looking.
Today I didn't really do much. I left the flat a couple of times. My sister that I talk on the phone to for hours on end didn't call me. I really wasn't in the mood to talk for a long period of time though, so that is good. She had stayed up really late on Wednesday night. I had woken up around 2:00 a.m. and she was still awake. She had to work too, so she had to have been tired. I think she was drinking her wine and on Facebook.
MDJ has been fairly steady today with discussions. It has kept me busy. Fu also, but I sometimes have to wait for the people to show up on my screen to like and rate. It's just a big game, but I like to meet people online there. A lot of people are really into the game. It's funny how serious they are about it. They want points so bad.
I bought Microsoft Office 2010 today through my school. It was $100 and it better not expire on me. Sometimes you rent the damn thing and I hope this isn't the case. I have 2007, so that's better than nothing, but I like the 2010 edition. That's what I used at work when I was there. I miss work actually. I am more relaxed though since I've been off. People notice this. I didn't notice I was stressed.
I think I will call the mental health tomorrow. I haven't heard from them and it's been over two weeks. They said withing two weeks they'd be calling me and get me in there to see what I qualify for. I hope everything. I need my medications so I don't freak out on people. I can not imagine going through the withdrawals if I couldn't get any medications. I'm getting really low on my antidepressant. I'm probably going to have to see my regular psychiatrist and pay his fee so I can get some more samples. That will cost me $125 for 20 minutes.
I've got to get into student mode. School starts in three days now. I sure hope I do well. I think I will as long as I don't get behind or goof off while I'm supposed to be studying or doing homework. I take school pretty seriously though, so I shouldn't have a problem. I'm dreading all the papers I'm going to have to write though. I think it's quite a lot.
I'm working on my scholarship essay. I did most of it today. It's basically about mental illness and wanting to become a mental illness counselor. That's why I'm going to school in the first place. I don't know if I'm writing a good one or not, but I'm writing it. I hope I get the scholarships that I apply for. That would be really nice to have so I don't have to pay back as much debt as I would have. I think I'll be up for a little bit, then go to sleep. I am tired, I just am not ready to hop in bed yet.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
4/4/12
I went to bed pretty early last night. I knew I had to get up early and I was tired. I think it was around 9:00 or so. I woke up a couple of times as usual, but went back to sleep. I didn't want to get up this morning though even though I got plenty of sleep. Seems to happen every time I need to get up early. Other times, I just wake up early when I don't have to. Ironic actually.
I went to the workforce workshop this morning. It was supposed to be from 8:30 - 12:00, but we got out of there around 10:45. It was nice that we didn't have to stay the whole time. We finished early. Most of it I knew. They gave us examples of resumes, cover letters, what to wear to an interview, things like that. Common sense, really.
I remembered that I hadn't taken my medications when I got to the workshop. I hate it when I forget to take them. I get all freaked out. I was fine though. I just took them when I got home. I hope that the county mental health calls me soon. I'm getting low on medications. They need to get me in there so I can get the help I need. It won't be a great feeling coming off the medications if I don't have them. It would make me sick. This mental illness thing sucks. It's so expensive too and we have to have it. They should be provided for us. We'd have more people that would take them that way.
I have been trying to call the unemployment office for weeks and I keep getting told there are too many calls and that I need to call back. I've never gotten through to anyone. I wanted to see what will happen when I go to school. I need my unemployment to live. I want to make sure I'm going to get it. I will still be looking for jobs. I heard you have to be approved. Well, how do you get approved if you can't get a hold of anyone. It's ridiculous to me. I sent an email. I found where I could do that. It took forever for me to find. They should make it a little easier.
Nothing going on today. Just the workshop and now home. I don't want to spend any money, so I'm not going to go anywhere. I tend to spend money when I leave the flat. I guess that's typical because you are usually going somewhere that you do spend money like the grocery store.
My mood is anxious because of the not knowing if I'm going to be able to collect the unemployment while in school. I start real school on Monday. I need answers now. I wish I could get through to the office. It's so stupid that you can't even talk to someone there. I will probably continue to be anxious till I find out for sure. It's not good to be feeling this way. It makes me grumpy and irritable. Other than the anxiousness, I've been in a regular level mood.
I went to get a coffee earlier and I had a feeling my oldest sister was going to call and she did. That was funny how I knew. We talked on the phone for three long hours. She just has tons to talk about. I surfed the net while we talked and answered some posts and liked and rated people. It's hard to think though when she is talking to me at the same time as I'm thinking. It's 11:00 now, but I'm not tired. Tomorrow I need to work on my scholarship stuff. One deadline is the 15th and I don't know that I'm going to make it since it's the 5th tomorrow. I need transcripts and reference letters and phone numbers. I just don't know if it's possible. I guess I'll find out tomorrow how far I get. I need to call Alaska for the a couple of the scholarships I'm applying for. Get some information. It's a lot of work. I also need to write an essay. Hopefully I do that well.
I went to the workforce workshop this morning. It was supposed to be from 8:30 - 12:00, but we got out of there around 10:45. It was nice that we didn't have to stay the whole time. We finished early. Most of it I knew. They gave us examples of resumes, cover letters, what to wear to an interview, things like that. Common sense, really.
I remembered that I hadn't taken my medications when I got to the workshop. I hate it when I forget to take them. I get all freaked out. I was fine though. I just took them when I got home. I hope that the county mental health calls me soon. I'm getting low on medications. They need to get me in there so I can get the help I need. It won't be a great feeling coming off the medications if I don't have them. It would make me sick. This mental illness thing sucks. It's so expensive too and we have to have it. They should be provided for us. We'd have more people that would take them that way.
I have been trying to call the unemployment office for weeks and I keep getting told there are too many calls and that I need to call back. I've never gotten through to anyone. I wanted to see what will happen when I go to school. I need my unemployment to live. I want to make sure I'm going to get it. I will still be looking for jobs. I heard you have to be approved. Well, how do you get approved if you can't get a hold of anyone. It's ridiculous to me. I sent an email. I found where I could do that. It took forever for me to find. They should make it a little easier.
Nothing going on today. Just the workshop and now home. I don't want to spend any money, so I'm not going to go anywhere. I tend to spend money when I leave the flat. I guess that's typical because you are usually going somewhere that you do spend money like the grocery store.
My mood is anxious because of the not knowing if I'm going to be able to collect the unemployment while in school. I start real school on Monday. I need answers now. I wish I could get through to the office. It's so stupid that you can't even talk to someone there. I will probably continue to be anxious till I find out for sure. It's not good to be feeling this way. It makes me grumpy and irritable. Other than the anxiousness, I've been in a regular level mood.
I went to get a coffee earlier and I had a feeling my oldest sister was going to call and she did. That was funny how I knew. We talked on the phone for three long hours. She just has tons to talk about. I surfed the net while we talked and answered some posts and liked and rated people. It's hard to think though when she is talking to me at the same time as I'm thinking. It's 11:00 now, but I'm not tired. Tomorrow I need to work on my scholarship stuff. One deadline is the 15th and I don't know that I'm going to make it since it's the 5th tomorrow. I need transcripts and reference letters and phone numbers. I just don't know if it's possible. I guess I'll find out tomorrow how far I get. I need to call Alaska for the a couple of the scholarships I'm applying for. Get some information. It's a lot of work. I also need to write an essay. Hopefully I do that well.
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
4/3/12
It's been a long day for some reason. I was up in the night for awhile and then I woke up at 5:00. One of my friends was on Facebook and she chatted away for a long time. I was getting tired, so when she finally logged off, I jumped in bed until 9:30. I had fallen asleep around 8:00 when she got off Facebook.
I woke up and took my medications and started my day. I still need to take a shower. I have't gotten that far yet. I was mainly on the computer. MDJ and Fu and Facebook and Email. It was pretty slow though. People just aren't posting like they used to. I'm used to having tons to look at and comment on.
This afternoon I had to get out of the flat, so I wen to Ross and bought me a soft toiled seat, shampoo, and some really cute shoes. They are snake skin pattern. They are pretty high, I'm going to have to get used to them. I then went to Target and got me a mini blender to make some drinks with my whey protein that I have. I need to go get some fruit so I can make smoothies. Those are yummy.
When I got home, I laid down for a bit, but then the phone rang. It was my academic adviser from school. She went over some things with me. Talked about the scholarships I have to apply for. They seem like they care. Her and the financial adviser and the guy that walks me through everything. I have an appointment with him on Monday to have him walk me through my first day of class. I don't know what that consists of, but I'll go with it. I'm nervous of course. My whole school year is 60 credits. She said that I'm going to go through general education then the remaining 16 credits will go toward psychology. I just hope I do good.
I never got to take a nap today. I tried a few times, but kept getting interrupted by the phone or I couldn't sleep. I wish I had take me a nap. I would feel less tired. Nothing to do though, so maybe that has something to do with my tiredness. I'm bored and can't think of things to do.
My mood has been really good so far lately. No real problems there. Just been trying to support everyone. It's weird not having to do a class since I've been in that orientation class for the last three weeks. I hope I learned enough from it. Papers have to written a certain style and everything. I need to go over my notes and stuff. Two classes online at once is going to keep me pretty busy. Plus I will be looking for a job also. That will hopefully happen soon.
I have a workforce class tomorrow morning at 8:30. It's required by the unemployment office for me to be there. It's going to be a long 3 1/2 hours I think. Hopefully I learn something about it. I need to ask about my collecting unemployment and going to school while looking for a job at the same time. Hope they have answers for me. It's all online, so I can do all my schooling at night. Shouldn't be a problem.
I woke up and took my medications and started my day. I still need to take a shower. I have't gotten that far yet. I was mainly on the computer. MDJ and Fu and Facebook and Email. It was pretty slow though. People just aren't posting like they used to. I'm used to having tons to look at and comment on.
This afternoon I had to get out of the flat, so I wen to Ross and bought me a soft toiled seat, shampoo, and some really cute shoes. They are snake skin pattern. They are pretty high, I'm going to have to get used to them. I then went to Target and got me a mini blender to make some drinks with my whey protein that I have. I need to go get some fruit so I can make smoothies. Those are yummy.
When I got home, I laid down for a bit, but then the phone rang. It was my academic adviser from school. She went over some things with me. Talked about the scholarships I have to apply for. They seem like they care. Her and the financial adviser and the guy that walks me through everything. I have an appointment with him on Monday to have him walk me through my first day of class. I don't know what that consists of, but I'll go with it. I'm nervous of course. My whole school year is 60 credits. She said that I'm going to go through general education then the remaining 16 credits will go toward psychology. I just hope I do good.
I never got to take a nap today. I tried a few times, but kept getting interrupted by the phone or I couldn't sleep. I wish I had take me a nap. I would feel less tired. Nothing to do though, so maybe that has something to do with my tiredness. I'm bored and can't think of things to do.
My mood has been really good so far lately. No real problems there. Just been trying to support everyone. It's weird not having to do a class since I've been in that orientation class for the last three weeks. I hope I learned enough from it. Papers have to written a certain style and everything. I need to go over my notes and stuff. Two classes online at once is going to keep me pretty busy. Plus I will be looking for a job also. That will hopefully happen soon.
I have a workforce class tomorrow morning at 8:30. It's required by the unemployment office for me to be there. It's going to be a long 3 1/2 hours I think. Hopefully I learn something about it. I need to ask about my collecting unemployment and going to school while looking for a job at the same time. Hope they have answers for me. It's all online, so I can do all my schooling at night. Shouldn't be a problem.
Monday, April 2, 2012
4/2/12
I got up last night/this morning at 2:00. Finally got to sleep around 3:30. Then I slept till almost 10:00. My sleep is all out of whack. Gotta get it back on track here soon. I seem to always wake up in the night. Usually I don't mind, but when I have to get up early, it makes it hard to do. I remember waking myself up by talking in my sleep. Weird how that happens. It startles me sometimes. I only do that every once in awhile.
I got a call today from the unemployment office. I have a class I am scheduled to go to on Wednesday and she wanted to make sure I was going. I told her I was. She told me to bring a picture ID and social security card. Good thing she told me or I wouldn't have brought my social security card. It's going to be interesting. It's some kind of workshop for the unemployed. Hopefully it goes by quickly. It's from 8:30 - 12:00.
Today the only time I left the flat was to mail a letter and get a coffee. The rest I've just been home. Pretty boring today. I'm loving my new multi-function printer though. It prints so nice. Fast too. The LaserJet is one of my favorite types. It's got the fax, so I'm glad that I got it. I made some copies on it today and it worked great. I think it was a good move getting it. I really needed one like that. I've almost got a little home office set up in my room.
I've been feeling good, just bored. MDJ is so quiet lately. It's disturbing. It's weird too. It's usually hopping and I can't keep up with all the groups, but now I'm waiting for someone to post a discussion. It's like hearing crickets on the boards these past few days. I'm not depressed, but I do long for things to do. I think I need something to occupy my time more. I need to think of things to do on the internet since I'm online so much. There are tons of things to do on there, I just can't think of any.
I got a call today from the unemployment office. I have a class I am scheduled to go to on Wednesday and she wanted to make sure I was going. I told her I was. She told me to bring a picture ID and social security card. Good thing she told me or I wouldn't have brought my social security card. It's going to be interesting. It's some kind of workshop for the unemployed. Hopefully it goes by quickly. It's from 8:30 - 12:00.
Today the only time I left the flat was to mail a letter and get a coffee. The rest I've just been home. Pretty boring today. I'm loving my new multi-function printer though. It prints so nice. Fast too. The LaserJet is one of my favorite types. It's got the fax, so I'm glad that I got it. I made some copies on it today and it worked great. I think it was a good move getting it. I really needed one like that. I've almost got a little home office set up in my room.
I've been feeling good, just bored. MDJ is so quiet lately. It's disturbing. It's weird too. It's usually hopping and I can't keep up with all the groups, but now I'm waiting for someone to post a discussion. It's like hearing crickets on the boards these past few days. I'm not depressed, but I do long for things to do. I think I need something to occupy my time more. I need to think of things to do on the internet since I'm online so much. There are tons of things to do on there, I just can't think of any.
Sunday, April 1, 2012
4/1/12
It's just after midnight. I woke up from a nap I guess you would call it. I tend to go to sleep then wake up a lot of times during the night. I wonder why that is. I'm on MDJ and Fu. Not too much is going on online. It's kind of boring so I probably won't be awake for too long. When I get bored, I usually sleep. There really isn't much to do other than that and I don't feel like cleaning this time of day. I was up at 2:00 a.m. yesterday/today whatever you want to call it and I stayed up until almost 8:00 a.m. then went back to bed until 10:30 a.m. or so.
One of my younger sister's called. She had told me that she was coming to the city for a cranial class. She is a massage therapist. So, she called me and we met for lunch. It was nice to visit because we don't get much of a chance to since I hate going to that town she lives in. She only comes to the city every now and then. We went to Target and she bought some things and then she left. It was pouring down rain. I went to Best Buy and picked up a battery backup for my computer. The electricity has been going out a lot and it keeps shutting down my computer obviously the improper way. This way, I have 45 minutes to turn it off properly before the battery backup runs out of juice.
My oldest sister is in Morro Bay this weekend. She is helping her friends out. One of her friend's brothers passed away and her sister in-law and him have a mobile home there. She is going to sell it, so they were all there to go through things and take to her house of throw away. I'm sure it was a hard trip to take for the sister and wife of the man that died. I kept waiting for her to call me on Friday, then I remembered that she had to go to the coast.
I haven't heard anything on the support groups I joined on my school site yet. I hope it gets a little active so we can all support each other. I'm just participating in discussions at this point since I've completed all my assignments. The discussions have to be 100-150 words in length and has to be on the subject of the discussion for credit. Sometimes it's hard to come up with that kind of answer. I try to work it the best I can to make it the right amount. My classes start in 8 days. I am nervous and I'm excited too. I hope I can pull this off.
No plans tomorrow. I may think about reading and commenting on the blogs that I follow. That will give me something constructive to do in part of my day. Of course I have MDJ and Fu that I visit daily. I'm so glad for all the people I meet online. Some have become really good friends. They are from all around the world too. It's neat that we can all come together and help each other. My mood has still been good. I'm thankful for that.
Well, it's now 4:00 p.m. I woke up around 10:00 a.m. I slept in it seems pretty late. I've just been on the computer like I normally am with MDJ and Fu. Not a whole lot going on online. I chatted with a friend from New Jersey that I met on MDJ. She is a really nice person. She says I'm her best friend. She doesn't care that we are online, I'm still her best friend. I think that is sweet.
A little earlier I went to Officemax and got me a printer/copier/fax/scanner for my flat. I needed a fax, so I got a multi-function printer. When I have to fax a resume, I always have to go to the store or some office place. They charge like $2.00 to fax which is ridiculous. So, now I can do it from my home. It makes me feel better. I have it all set up and everything. It will be good for school in printing out the materials I will need also. It's a laser printer and I've been wanting one of those for awhile. I'm happy.
My oldest sister should be coming back from the coast today. I'm sure she has lots of stories to tell me. I hope they had a good time despite cleaning out the mobile. I haven't been to the coast in many years. I wouldn't mind going though. I won't go in the ocean though because of all the creatures in there. They scare me and there are so many different kinds. Guess I'll go find something to do. I'm bored.
One of my younger sister's called. She had told me that she was coming to the city for a cranial class. She is a massage therapist. So, she called me and we met for lunch. It was nice to visit because we don't get much of a chance to since I hate going to that town she lives in. She only comes to the city every now and then. We went to Target and she bought some things and then she left. It was pouring down rain. I went to Best Buy and picked up a battery backup for my computer. The electricity has been going out a lot and it keeps shutting down my computer obviously the improper way. This way, I have 45 minutes to turn it off properly before the battery backup runs out of juice.
My oldest sister is in Morro Bay this weekend. She is helping her friends out. One of her friend's brothers passed away and her sister in-law and him have a mobile home there. She is going to sell it, so they were all there to go through things and take to her house of throw away. I'm sure it was a hard trip to take for the sister and wife of the man that died. I kept waiting for her to call me on Friday, then I remembered that she had to go to the coast.
I haven't heard anything on the support groups I joined on my school site yet. I hope it gets a little active so we can all support each other. I'm just participating in discussions at this point since I've completed all my assignments. The discussions have to be 100-150 words in length and has to be on the subject of the discussion for credit. Sometimes it's hard to come up with that kind of answer. I try to work it the best I can to make it the right amount. My classes start in 8 days. I am nervous and I'm excited too. I hope I can pull this off.
No plans tomorrow. I may think about reading and commenting on the blogs that I follow. That will give me something constructive to do in part of my day. Of course I have MDJ and Fu that I visit daily. I'm so glad for all the people I meet online. Some have become really good friends. They are from all around the world too. It's neat that we can all come together and help each other. My mood has still been good. I'm thankful for that.
Well, it's now 4:00 p.m. I woke up around 10:00 a.m. I slept in it seems pretty late. I've just been on the computer like I normally am with MDJ and Fu. Not a whole lot going on online. I chatted with a friend from New Jersey that I met on MDJ. She is a really nice person. She says I'm her best friend. She doesn't care that we are online, I'm still her best friend. I think that is sweet.
A little earlier I went to Officemax and got me a printer/copier/fax/scanner for my flat. I needed a fax, so I got a multi-function printer. When I have to fax a resume, I always have to go to the store or some office place. They charge like $2.00 to fax which is ridiculous. So, now I can do it from my home. It makes me feel better. I have it all set up and everything. It will be good for school in printing out the materials I will need also. It's a laser printer and I've been wanting one of those for awhile. I'm happy.
My oldest sister should be coming back from the coast today. I'm sure she has lots of stories to tell me. I hope they had a good time despite cleaning out the mobile. I haven't been to the coast in many years. I wouldn't mind going though. I won't go in the ocean though because of all the creatures in there. They scare me and there are so many different kinds. Guess I'll go find something to do. I'm bored.
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