Could not get up this morning. Kept hitting the snooze. I did get to work at 7:30 though. Not too bad. Had my morning tea and smoke as my computer warmed up. I was busy, busy, busy and barely made a dent. Tomorrow I have payroll to do and then Friday I will work on the billing. I have so much of it. The end of the month is near and we have to have all that in before then.
Yesterday I met a new person on Fu. He is in Afghanistan with the Army. He's really nice and we enjoyed chatting with each other. We chatted more when I got home. It's like 11 1/2 hours ahead of us where he is. It's so nice to meet new people when they are nice like that. I thanked him for his service and he said, don't thank me, thank the recruiter that suckered me into this. Lol. He's proud though to be fighting for our Country. I appreciate all the military.
My sister, the one that talks for so long is on the phone right now. She's talking away as she usually does. Hopefully she'll get off here soon so I can relax and get to bed. I've got a lot of posts to comment on on MDJ, so I better get to working on that. I'm trying to stay on top of that since I'm a group leader in three of the groups I belong to. I like helping people, it leaves me with a good feeling. One lady today told me that I saved her life by talking to her.
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Monday, December 26, 2011
12/26/11
I got up at 7:00 this morning because I was freaking out. It was late and I was going to be late for work. Then, I remembered that I don't work today. Lol. By that time, I was awake, so I just got on the computer. I commented on threads on MDJ and liked and rated people on Fu. Typical morning schedule for me.
I didn't really feel like doing anything today, but I picked up the apartment in between being on the computer. One of my friends said he might stop by, so I didn't want it to be a mess. I then went to do the laundry at the laundromat. I hate going there. It takes so long and it's boring. I usually write out in the car.
I took my last Lexapro this morning with my other medications. I called Dr. O and left him a message. I heard back from him while I was doing laundry. He said he'd go into the office and take care of the prior authorization Tuesday or Wednesday. He told me to take 20 mg of the Viibryd for now. So, I'm going to do that tomorrow. Hope I don't get any brain shocks.
It's been a pretty good weekend. Nice and long and I get to look forward to another one next weekend. Just have a lot of work to do in between at work. Especially with it being the end of the month closing. I've taken about 3 naps today and I'll probably hit the hay early. I'm kind of tired. Tomorrow it's rise and shine early and go to work, back to reality...
I didn't really feel like doing anything today, but I picked up the apartment in between being on the computer. One of my friends said he might stop by, so I didn't want it to be a mess. I then went to do the laundry at the laundromat. I hate going there. It takes so long and it's boring. I usually write out in the car.
I took my last Lexapro this morning with my other medications. I called Dr. O and left him a message. I heard back from him while I was doing laundry. He said he'd go into the office and take care of the prior authorization Tuesday or Wednesday. He told me to take 20 mg of the Viibryd for now. So, I'm going to do that tomorrow. Hope I don't get any brain shocks.
It's been a pretty good weekend. Nice and long and I get to look forward to another one next weekend. Just have a lot of work to do in between at work. Especially with it being the end of the month closing. I've taken about 3 naps today and I'll probably hit the hay early. I'm kind of tired. Tomorrow it's rise and shine early and go to work, back to reality...
Sunday, December 25, 2011
12/25/11
It's Christmas today. I'm a grinch because I don't really care for the holidays. I didn't make it to my sister Angel's. I went to my sister Nat's who lives about 3 minutes away from me driving. Last night I decided that I was going to go out, so I made myself a couple martinis and got ready. Around 10:00 I went to my favorite bar and had a couple more martinis. Just went alone, I do that a lot. I talked with some people and had an okay time. At least I was out of the house. About 1:00 I left, stopped by McDonalds, and then went home to eat. I got up at 5:30 for a bit, then went back to bed till 8:00. I don't know why I didn't sleep in later. I'm really lucky I took some Excedrin before I went to bed too because I didn't have a headache when I woke up.
I just did things around the house and was on the computer till about 1:45 and then I headed over to Nat's apartment. We visited and then ate, played on our computer, and visited some more. It was nice and relaxing and the food she cooked was really good. We had ham with all the fixings.
She got a letter notifying her that there is going to be no smoking on the property as of January 1st. I think that is bullshit. Can they make you not smoke in your own back yard? She is pissed. She is going to look for another apartment within this year and she has lived there for 13 years. I wonder if that is okay to do. We are a free country. They say you can smoke inside your apartment, but you will be responsible for any damage and stuff. They are basically forcing you to smoke in your apartment. A lot of people smoke outside because they don't want their apartment to smell. I think it's ridiculous. You should be able to go out on your patio and have a cigarette if you want to.
It was an alright day. I'm glad that I have tomorrow off. I get to relax a little bit. I have a bunch of billing to do when I get back to work on Tuesday and real soon the payroll to do. I don't really like coming back from a three day weekend because you have to squeeze all of your work into four days. It makes it difficult to get things done on time. Eight hours is a lot of time to be missing. I am grateful for the day off though.
I gave Nat her tumblers that I got her and she was happy. I also gave my niece the mascara and eyelash curler. She was happy because she had needed that. They gave me some towels for the kitchen and $40 cash. She said she didn't know what to get me, so I can buy something I want with the money. That was nice of her to do. I told her she shouldn't have.
Tomorrow I will probably end up doing the laundry. I think my newly acquired friend will be coming over to visit for a little bit too. Guess I'll have to work out the times. He is really nice, but I don't know him well. I hope to learn a lot more about him. I love getting new friends. I don't have a lot of them. They come and go so quickly and don't really have any close ones that do things with me. I'm a loner most of the time.
My son liked the $100 I sent him for Christmas. He said he might buy a new XBox or a new Playstation 3. I'm glad that he liked the money. Lol. I would too if I were 15 years old. You can get what you want, not what someone picks out for you. They were going to have a ham dinner tonight and just kick back at home. I hope he had a nice Christmas with his dad.
I just did things around the house and was on the computer till about 1:45 and then I headed over to Nat's apartment. We visited and then ate, played on our computer, and visited some more. It was nice and relaxing and the food she cooked was really good. We had ham with all the fixings.
She got a letter notifying her that there is going to be no smoking on the property as of January 1st. I think that is bullshit. Can they make you not smoke in your own back yard? She is pissed. She is going to look for another apartment within this year and she has lived there for 13 years. I wonder if that is okay to do. We are a free country. They say you can smoke inside your apartment, but you will be responsible for any damage and stuff. They are basically forcing you to smoke in your apartment. A lot of people smoke outside because they don't want their apartment to smell. I think it's ridiculous. You should be able to go out on your patio and have a cigarette if you want to.
It was an alright day. I'm glad that I have tomorrow off. I get to relax a little bit. I have a bunch of billing to do when I get back to work on Tuesday and real soon the payroll to do. I don't really like coming back from a three day weekend because you have to squeeze all of your work into four days. It makes it difficult to get things done on time. Eight hours is a lot of time to be missing. I am grateful for the day off though.
I gave Nat her tumblers that I got her and she was happy. I also gave my niece the mascara and eyelash curler. She was happy because she had needed that. They gave me some towels for the kitchen and $40 cash. She said she didn't know what to get me, so I can buy something I want with the money. That was nice of her to do. I told her she shouldn't have.
Tomorrow I will probably end up doing the laundry. I think my newly acquired friend will be coming over to visit for a little bit too. Guess I'll have to work out the times. He is really nice, but I don't know him well. I hope to learn a lot more about him. I love getting new friends. I don't have a lot of them. They come and go so quickly and don't really have any close ones that do things with me. I'm a loner most of the time.
My son liked the $100 I sent him for Christmas. He said he might buy a new XBox or a new Playstation 3. I'm glad that he liked the money. Lol. I would too if I were 15 years old. You can get what you want, not what someone picks out for you. They were going to have a ham dinner tonight and just kick back at home. I hope he had a nice Christmas with his dad.
Friday, December 23, 2011
12/23/11
Yay, it's Friday. Christmas weekend and I'm just not a holiday person. Grinch could be my name this time of year. Everyone is just so happy go lucky and I'm just not into it. Christmas isn't supposed to be about presents really. I celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. I never have enough money to buy any presents, maybe that's why I don't like it. I don't like receiving presents either. I never have. I'd rather get nothing. Just me being me.
The week has been okay I guess. I've been tired as usual. I feel a little bit better on the upped Lexapro, but not enough. I think I will try the Viibryd. I just hope this new insurance will cover it. It's really new. It's supposed to be a good one though. We'll see if I try it. Dr. O called me on Wednesday to see how it was going. I told him I basically felt the same. He said to give it another week. Will see if something happens in this week. He will call me between holidays next week. I really hope that something works.
I have cleaned my apartment though, but that was because a friend was coming over. I couldn't let him see the apartment like it was. I met a guy online and met him and he's really friendly. We will hang out every once in awhile. I always love getting new friends. Especially since I don't have very many. Most are not very good ones. They are just there when something is up like going out. Not for everyday friendship.
Tonight I might hang our with a friend. Tomorrow I don't have any plans. I'll probably stick around home. Sunday is my sister Angel's Christmas dinner. I don't know that I'm going to go though. The brakes are still crappy and I would hate to chance the starter going out up there in the mountains. That wouldn't be good at all. My sister in town is having dinner on Christmas too and wants me to go, but I kind of just want to stay home. I feel obligated and I hate that feeling. I'm surprised my dad hasn't tried calling to invite me over there. I haven't been there in quite awhile, but I'm pretty much bored every time I go there. Just not into going places I guess.
Monday I have off. I'm glad I get a 3 day weekend. Next week too I have Monday off for New Year's. 2 long weekends is great. It does affect my work though. I don't have a lot of time to do it when there is short weeks. It's hard to jam all that work into 4 days a lot of the time. Plus it's going to be the end of the month and that is a really busy time. We have to close the month out and everything needs to be in for December. It's chaotic sometimes.
I made me a martini with my new shaker and it turned out fabulous. There is just something about shaking it that makes it taste way much better. It's strange how that is. I like apple martinis. The one I made was perfect for me. I will have to make them more often. I need to get more Grey Goose though. It's really good vodka. I'm going to try Kettle One too. I hear that's even better vodka. One gives me a little buzz. It's all alcohol though so that is why.
The week has been okay I guess. I've been tired as usual. I feel a little bit better on the upped Lexapro, but not enough. I think I will try the Viibryd. I just hope this new insurance will cover it. It's really new. It's supposed to be a good one though. We'll see if I try it. Dr. O called me on Wednesday to see how it was going. I told him I basically felt the same. He said to give it another week. Will see if something happens in this week. He will call me between holidays next week. I really hope that something works.
I have cleaned my apartment though, but that was because a friend was coming over. I couldn't let him see the apartment like it was. I met a guy online and met him and he's really friendly. We will hang out every once in awhile. I always love getting new friends. Especially since I don't have very many. Most are not very good ones. They are just there when something is up like going out. Not for everyday friendship.
Tonight I might hang our with a friend. Tomorrow I don't have any plans. I'll probably stick around home. Sunday is my sister Angel's Christmas dinner. I don't know that I'm going to go though. The brakes are still crappy and I would hate to chance the starter going out up there in the mountains. That wouldn't be good at all. My sister in town is having dinner on Christmas too and wants me to go, but I kind of just want to stay home. I feel obligated and I hate that feeling. I'm surprised my dad hasn't tried calling to invite me over there. I haven't been there in quite awhile, but I'm pretty much bored every time I go there. Just not into going places I guess.
Monday I have off. I'm glad I get a 3 day weekend. Next week too I have Monday off for New Year's. 2 long weekends is great. It does affect my work though. I don't have a lot of time to do it when there is short weeks. It's hard to jam all that work into 4 days a lot of the time. Plus it's going to be the end of the month and that is a really busy time. We have to close the month out and everything needs to be in for December. It's chaotic sometimes.
I made me a martini with my new shaker and it turned out fabulous. There is just something about shaking it that makes it taste way much better. It's strange how that is. I like apple martinis. The one I made was perfect for me. I will have to make them more often. I need to get more Grey Goose though. It's really good vodka. I'm going to try Kettle One too. I hear that's even better vodka. One gives me a little buzz. It's all alcohol though so that is why.
Monday, December 19, 2011
12/19/11
Work is going by pretty slowly today. I can't wait to get home. I'm tired because I got up at 3:30 this morning. My tooth was hurting and it woke me up, then I just stayed up. I went to work early and was going to cover for the receptionist while she went to the funeral, but she ended up not going. A lot of people didn't that said they were. I don't know why. It was an hour and half away though and would have taken most of the day.
Volkswagen called me at 9:30 and told me my car was done. I guess they didn't need to order the part again after all. He said something was unplugged and that is why it wasn't working. I got in the rental car, got gas in it, returned it, and then they gave me a ride to Volkswagen. I paid the $165 I owed and was on my way back to work by 10:30. Not much work going on today. I'll probably be busy tomorrow though.
I'm feeling no different since my antidepressant has been upped. I don't know that I will. I will probably have to try the Viibyrd. Will see by next week I guess. I hope to get all my prescriptions in this month so I don't have to pay the $250 deductible till next month so I can save up for it. Paying it this month will leave me a little tight on money. Will see what happens. I don't like this deductible business. It's for the birds.
I have my eye exam in February. I think I will be able to get some new glasses with frames on the new insurance. That will be nice. Where I get my glasses though, they don't have a very big variety of frames so that's a bummer. I like certain ones. Last year I only needed them for the computer. It will probably be the same for this year. I hope anyway.
My sister Angel wants me to come to her house for a couple of days this coming Christmas weekend. I don't want to, but I don't want to be rude either. I can't be away from my computer that long! I like being at home with no one to bother me. I don't want to drive my car with bad breaks in the windy mountains. I just don't want to deal with family. I should do what I want to do. It's my decision. I guess I'm going to be the bitch that doesn't want to visit. I'm depressed, I just want to be alone. Nothing wrong with wanting that. I'm hoping this depression blows over, but right now nothing is happening. So, I don't think that I will go. I'm just not a holiday person. It's no big deal to me. I celebrate the birth of Jesus and that's what is meant to be. I'm too poor to buy everyone presents. I feel bad. I hope no one bought me anything because I don't need anything.
Will go home after work and get on my computer. I'll like and rate on Fu and comment on posts on MDJ. I've really been keeping up with that good. I'm proud of myself. I'm giving other bipolar people support and it makes me feel good. Some are in a bad way and I try to give them encouragement. I hope it works. I only have an hour and half to go and I'm off. I'm looking forward to it.
Volkswagen called me at 9:30 and told me my car was done. I guess they didn't need to order the part again after all. He said something was unplugged and that is why it wasn't working. I got in the rental car, got gas in it, returned it, and then they gave me a ride to Volkswagen. I paid the $165 I owed and was on my way back to work by 10:30. Not much work going on today. I'll probably be busy tomorrow though.
I'm feeling no different since my antidepressant has been upped. I don't know that I will. I will probably have to try the Viibyrd. Will see by next week I guess. I hope to get all my prescriptions in this month so I don't have to pay the $250 deductible till next month so I can save up for it. Paying it this month will leave me a little tight on money. Will see what happens. I don't like this deductible business. It's for the birds.
I have my eye exam in February. I think I will be able to get some new glasses with frames on the new insurance. That will be nice. Where I get my glasses though, they don't have a very big variety of frames so that's a bummer. I like certain ones. Last year I only needed them for the computer. It will probably be the same for this year. I hope anyway.
My sister Angel wants me to come to her house for a couple of days this coming Christmas weekend. I don't want to, but I don't want to be rude either. I can't be away from my computer that long! I like being at home with no one to bother me. I don't want to drive my car with bad breaks in the windy mountains. I just don't want to deal with family. I should do what I want to do. It's my decision. I guess I'm going to be the bitch that doesn't want to visit. I'm depressed, I just want to be alone. Nothing wrong with wanting that. I'm hoping this depression blows over, but right now nothing is happening. So, I don't think that I will go. I'm just not a holiday person. It's no big deal to me. I celebrate the birth of Jesus and that's what is meant to be. I'm too poor to buy everyone presents. I feel bad. I hope no one bought me anything because I don't need anything.
Will go home after work and get on my computer. I'll like and rate on Fu and comment on posts on MDJ. I've really been keeping up with that good. I'm proud of myself. I'm giving other bipolar people support and it makes me feel good. Some are in a bad way and I try to give them encouragement. I hope it works. I only have an hour and half to go and I'm off. I'm looking forward to it.
Sunday, December 18, 2011
12/18/11
Sunday morning here. A lot has been going on in my life regarding my car and my mood. I've still feeling depressed with no energy. My car is still in the shop. My sister wants me to come spend a few days with her. No one answers the phone when I call and need them. So, I'll explain below....
Work week went by quickly for me except for Friday, which always seems to go slow. Tomorrow there is a funeral a lot of people at work are going to for one of my boss's dad. He passed away this week. I'm staying behind as well as a few others. I was going to go to pay my respects, but it's so far away and I didn't know the man. I do want to be there for my boss, but someone has to stay behind to man the phones and take calls. Mary is going to stay and take the calls. They thanked us for this.
On Wednesday I went to see my psychiatrist. I told him how I've been feeling and he asked if the upped Amantadine worked. I said barely. What he did is up my Lexapro and lower my Amantadine. He gave me some samples of Viibryd to try if the upped Lexapro doesn't work. I so far haven't noticed an improvement in my mood. He will call me this week or the beginning of next week. I hear Viibryd has something extra in it where it works on a different neurotransmitter as well as seratonin. Maybe that will work for me. It does have less sexual side effects supposedly, so that's a plus.
Thursday I left work at 3:15 and took my car to the Volkswagen dealer to fix my car. The part came in, so they were able to work on it. I thought maybe they could get it done that day, but they said they couldn't. B came and picked me up and I dropped him off at home and took the car home with me. Friday it still wasn't done. He told me that the sunroof motor is what shorted out the comfort control module and if I wanted it fixed the part was going to be $500. He could do that or leave it unplugged. I told him to leave it unplugged. I could fix it later if I even want to. I never use the damn thing.
Saturday rolls around and I'm just hanging out at home waiting for them to tell me my car is done when they call and say they shorted out the part and have to order a new one. Shit, it's been there for two days already now. They said they would get me a rental car and they would take care of the charges. At least they did that. I couldn't afford to get a rental on my own. I am glad they are providing me with a car.
Enterprise closes at noon on Saturdays, and it was 11:00 when they called and told me this. I asked if they could drop me off. He said yes, but the driver would have to wash a couple of cars before he came to get me. I called Enterprise to let them know that I was coming and to see if they could pick me up since they do that. They said it would be awhile because they were short staffed. I told them I'd call them back if I couldn't find a ride. I called B and he didn't answer the phone. I called my sister and she didn't answer the phone. No one would answer their damn phone. Finally about 11:30 Volkswagen called and I gave them directions to my apartment and they picked me up and took me to enterprise before they closed. The line was so long, but I was like second. The man behind me was one of those complainers. The finally got me into a car by 12:45. I have a newer Jetta to cruise around with till my car gets done. I really hope they don't find anything else wrong with the car. I just can't afford it. I finally got a hold of B around 1:30 and he'd been asleep the whole time. I went to his house, picked him up, and brought him to my apartment to get his car. I think he went home and went back to sleep. He played World of Warcraft all night the night before. I don't get how he does that all the time.
I didn't do much on Saturday. I went to TJMaxx and got a couple of martini glasses and mix because I like martinis. I actually made one for myself. I used the mix, but it didn't really taste that good to me. I should have used the schnapps instead. I'll do that next time. I think I went to bed around 8:00. I woke up a few times, but went to bed fairly quickly. I guess my day was tiring to me. Too much going on and trying to rush with the rental car in getting it before they closed.
Today I woke up at 8:30 and played around on the computer till I took a shower. Now I'm back on the computer of course, but have no plans to do anything. Maybe drop off a prescription. Everything costs money when I leave the house. Even if I don't really spend much, I'm burning gas. I'm tired of being poor. Someday I will have some money to work with. I pay child support also. I will only have to do that for 3 more years though so that is good. He's 15 now. I wish his dad wasn't such a loser. He was on unemployment for 2 years and he finally got a job to only work 2 weeks out of the month. I think he will always be that way. He could have gone to school while he was on unemployment. No, he didn't, he was being lazy and stubborn. I don't see how he can live off what he makes and even off the unemployment. It's beyond me.
Work week went by quickly for me except for Friday, which always seems to go slow. Tomorrow there is a funeral a lot of people at work are going to for one of my boss's dad. He passed away this week. I'm staying behind as well as a few others. I was going to go to pay my respects, but it's so far away and I didn't know the man. I do want to be there for my boss, but someone has to stay behind to man the phones and take calls. Mary is going to stay and take the calls. They thanked us for this.
On Wednesday I went to see my psychiatrist. I told him how I've been feeling and he asked if the upped Amantadine worked. I said barely. What he did is up my Lexapro and lower my Amantadine. He gave me some samples of Viibryd to try if the upped Lexapro doesn't work. I so far haven't noticed an improvement in my mood. He will call me this week or the beginning of next week. I hear Viibryd has something extra in it where it works on a different neurotransmitter as well as seratonin. Maybe that will work for me. It does have less sexual side effects supposedly, so that's a plus.
Thursday I left work at 3:15 and took my car to the Volkswagen dealer to fix my car. The part came in, so they were able to work on it. I thought maybe they could get it done that day, but they said they couldn't. B came and picked me up and I dropped him off at home and took the car home with me. Friday it still wasn't done. He told me that the sunroof motor is what shorted out the comfort control module and if I wanted it fixed the part was going to be $500. He could do that or leave it unplugged. I told him to leave it unplugged. I could fix it later if I even want to. I never use the damn thing.
Saturday rolls around and I'm just hanging out at home waiting for them to tell me my car is done when they call and say they shorted out the part and have to order a new one. Shit, it's been there for two days already now. They said they would get me a rental car and they would take care of the charges. At least they did that. I couldn't afford to get a rental on my own. I am glad they are providing me with a car.
Enterprise closes at noon on Saturdays, and it was 11:00 when they called and told me this. I asked if they could drop me off. He said yes, but the driver would have to wash a couple of cars before he came to get me. I called Enterprise to let them know that I was coming and to see if they could pick me up since they do that. They said it would be awhile because they were short staffed. I told them I'd call them back if I couldn't find a ride. I called B and he didn't answer the phone. I called my sister and she didn't answer the phone. No one would answer their damn phone. Finally about 11:30 Volkswagen called and I gave them directions to my apartment and they picked me up and took me to enterprise before they closed. The line was so long, but I was like second. The man behind me was one of those complainers. The finally got me into a car by 12:45. I have a newer Jetta to cruise around with till my car gets done. I really hope they don't find anything else wrong with the car. I just can't afford it. I finally got a hold of B around 1:30 and he'd been asleep the whole time. I went to his house, picked him up, and brought him to my apartment to get his car. I think he went home and went back to sleep. He played World of Warcraft all night the night before. I don't get how he does that all the time.
I didn't do much on Saturday. I went to TJMaxx and got a couple of martini glasses and mix because I like martinis. I actually made one for myself. I used the mix, but it didn't really taste that good to me. I should have used the schnapps instead. I'll do that next time. I think I went to bed around 8:00. I woke up a few times, but went to bed fairly quickly. I guess my day was tiring to me. Too much going on and trying to rush with the rental car in getting it before they closed.
Today I woke up at 8:30 and played around on the computer till I took a shower. Now I'm back on the computer of course, but have no plans to do anything. Maybe drop off a prescription. Everything costs money when I leave the house. Even if I don't really spend much, I'm burning gas. I'm tired of being poor. Someday I will have some money to work with. I pay child support also. I will only have to do that for 3 more years though so that is good. He's 15 now. I wish his dad wasn't such a loser. He was on unemployment for 2 years and he finally got a job to only work 2 weeks out of the month. I think he will always be that way. He could have gone to school while he was on unemployment. No, he didn't, he was being lazy and stubborn. I don't see how he can live off what he makes and even off the unemployment. It's beyond me.
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
12/13/11
It sure was a long day today. My window is down a little bit like I said before and I put the garbage bag over it in case it rains. It hasn't yet and I hope it doesn't until my car is fixed. I cashed out my vacation to pay for this repair. Today I took them the money for the part which was $386.00. They told me to bring the car in on Thursday night before they close so they can work on it Friday and maybe Saturday if needed. So, I'm going to have to get with B on Thursday so he can pick me up from the dealership and then I can take him home and take over his car for a couple of days. This car repair shit is for the birds. Never get a German car. They are expensive to fix.
Today I had some billing to do and I finished it late afternoon. The day was so slow to me that's why it was so long of a day to me. I was busy too. Usually when I am busy, the time goes by fast. Not today. I am waiting on my package to come to work. I ordered a camera and am excited to get it. I just wish it would get here already. Maybe tomorrow.
Sunday I did end up doing my laundry. That's all I did outside of the apartment. I picked up around the apartment a little. Did the dishes, picked up the floor. I haven't done that in a long time. My psychiatrist called me yesterday to see how I am doing and I told him I'm still feeling depressed, so he upped my Amantadine again. I think it does help a little bit, but not enough. I will be so happy when this depression is out of my life. It's like it's always there. Even when I don't feel depressed, I have the physical symptoms it seems. It's just frustrating. Hopefully soon that will turn around. Dr. O has some ideas. I see him tomorrow afternoon, so I will fill him in on if the added Amantadine is working or not.
I'm surprised my sister hasn't called me tonight. She's always on the phone and talking forever. It's a nice break though. I don't like to talk about some of the things we talk about. They are stupid and petty. Of course we talk about our other sisters. What sisters don't talk about each other? Lol. We all get along though. The thing is, three of my sisters live an hour away in the mountains. One lives in the city near me. The ones in the mountains don't come visit, yet they want us from the city to come up all the time and visit. I think it's a two way street. They should put some effort into it too. I think I've only had people over to my house like maybe 10 times in the almost 3 years I have lived in my apartment. I don't ever get guests. I guess that's a good thing because I need to clean. I'm determined to get some energy back though. I just hope it's soon.
Today I had some billing to do and I finished it late afternoon. The day was so slow to me that's why it was so long of a day to me. I was busy too. Usually when I am busy, the time goes by fast. Not today. I am waiting on my package to come to work. I ordered a camera and am excited to get it. I just wish it would get here already. Maybe tomorrow.
Sunday I did end up doing my laundry. That's all I did outside of the apartment. I picked up around the apartment a little. Did the dishes, picked up the floor. I haven't done that in a long time. My psychiatrist called me yesterday to see how I am doing and I told him I'm still feeling depressed, so he upped my Amantadine again. I think it does help a little bit, but not enough. I will be so happy when this depression is out of my life. It's like it's always there. Even when I don't feel depressed, I have the physical symptoms it seems. It's just frustrating. Hopefully soon that will turn around. Dr. O has some ideas. I see him tomorrow afternoon, so I will fill him in on if the added Amantadine is working or not.
I'm surprised my sister hasn't called me tonight. She's always on the phone and talking forever. It's a nice break though. I don't like to talk about some of the things we talk about. They are stupid and petty. Of course we talk about our other sisters. What sisters don't talk about each other? Lol. We all get along though. The thing is, three of my sisters live an hour away in the mountains. One lives in the city near me. The ones in the mountains don't come visit, yet they want us from the city to come up all the time and visit. I think it's a two way street. They should put some effort into it too. I think I've only had people over to my house like maybe 10 times in the almost 3 years I have lived in my apartment. I don't ever get guests. I guess that's a good thing because I need to clean. I'm determined to get some energy back though. I just hope it's soon.
Saturday, December 10, 2011
12/10/11
I was really tired last night. I think I went to bed around 9:30 after I got my sister off the phone. I only woke up a couple of times. One time I had some cereal. Guess I was hungry. Woke up this morning and took my medications and got on the computer. I was still tired, but yet awake at the same time if that makes any sense.
I was wondering about my car all day. Stressing over it and how much it's going to cost. I finally called around 2:00 since I hadn't heard anything. The guy said he needed more time and to call back in an hour. Well, I hear back from him before that hour was up and he said the comfort control module is bad and needs to be replaced. It's going to cost $535 to fix it. Well, I don't have that, so I'm going to have to cash out my vacation time at work to cover it. On Tuesday I will go in and drop off the money and my car. They have to order the part and I think it takes like 2 days to get there.
So, I'm stressed out about that. It seems like every time I have a little bit of money, something goes wrong with the car. It's frustrating. I'm going to borrow B's car for a few days. I'm hoping my car will be done by Friday. Next, with my tax return, I have to get a new starter if it lasts that long and new brakes. Lots of money into my car. It's not even worth what I am putting into it. I don't want a car payment though, so I just keep fixing it when something goes wrong.
I have felt down lately and this just brings me down even more. I don't have any control over it though, so I shouldn't get upset about the things I can't control. The car will get fixed in the end. It's just hard getting it there. I didn't do much today. I took a few naps. Got on the computer, did the dishes, and cleaned off my kitchen table. That's progress at least.
Tomorrow I don't plan on doing much either. Maybe go and do some laundry. My window is stuck open a little bit, so I hope it doesn't rain while I have it. I will have to carry a trash back to place over the open window in case it does rain. How oakie is that? Lol. Oh well, you gotta do what you gotta do.
We have a mandatory meeting at work this coming Thursday. It's about our health insurance. Guess they are going to be making some changes. I heard a rumor that we are going to a different provider, but don't know if that is true. I hope the cost goes down. That would be great. And has better benefits. I am actually lucky that my employer pays half of it. A lot of places aren't offering that anymore. When I first started, we got our medical free. That was almost 7 years ago though. I'm sure it was very expensive for the company to do that.
I was wondering about my car all day. Stressing over it and how much it's going to cost. I finally called around 2:00 since I hadn't heard anything. The guy said he needed more time and to call back in an hour. Well, I hear back from him before that hour was up and he said the comfort control module is bad and needs to be replaced. It's going to cost $535 to fix it. Well, I don't have that, so I'm going to have to cash out my vacation time at work to cover it. On Tuesday I will go in and drop off the money and my car. They have to order the part and I think it takes like 2 days to get there.
So, I'm stressed out about that. It seems like every time I have a little bit of money, something goes wrong with the car. It's frustrating. I'm going to borrow B's car for a few days. I'm hoping my car will be done by Friday. Next, with my tax return, I have to get a new starter if it lasts that long and new brakes. Lots of money into my car. It's not even worth what I am putting into it. I don't want a car payment though, so I just keep fixing it when something goes wrong.
I have felt down lately and this just brings me down even more. I don't have any control over it though, so I shouldn't get upset about the things I can't control. The car will get fixed in the end. It's just hard getting it there. I didn't do much today. I took a few naps. Got on the computer, did the dishes, and cleaned off my kitchen table. That's progress at least.
Tomorrow I don't plan on doing much either. Maybe go and do some laundry. My window is stuck open a little bit, so I hope it doesn't rain while I have it. I will have to carry a trash back to place over the open window in case it does rain. How oakie is that? Lol. Oh well, you gotta do what you gotta do.
We have a mandatory meeting at work this coming Thursday. It's about our health insurance. Guess they are going to be making some changes. I heard a rumor that we are going to a different provider, but don't know if that is true. I hope the cost goes down. That would be great. And has better benefits. I am actually lucky that my employer pays half of it. A lot of places aren't offering that anymore. When I first started, we got our medical free. That was almost 7 years ago though. I'm sure it was very expensive for the company to do that.
Friday, December 9, 2011
12/9/11
This has been a very tiring day for me. I got up at 2:00 this morning. Got ready for work. Remembered that I had an eye doctor appointment and didn't have to be there until 9:45. I was bored. I went to Khol's and got some New Balance tennis shoes. I had gotten a gift card from my mom #2 and used it, plus they were on sale. I got a good deal.
I went home after that and got on the computer until it was time to leave. Got to the appointment early. Still had to wait quite awhile, but finally around 10:20 I got in and they checked my eye pressure. Says it looks good so far. Two years ago I got holes lasered into my eyes to relieve pressure. I'm a candidate for glaucoma. I'm good till December of next year now.
Well, I had left my phone at home, so I went home to get it and went to put my window up and it wouldn't work. The trunk wouldn't work either, the sunroof, and also the dome lights. Just in October I had the same damn problem. They told me that there was a penny in the cigarette lighter that caused the fuse to blow. Well, there isn't one in there now. So, they dropped me off at home. I waited until 4:15 and called since they hadn't called me. They hadn't figured it out yet, so my car was left there and they will work on it tomorrow. Why, why, why? It's just my luck.
Well, I called B later on, but he didn't answer. I called my sister that lives close to me and she took me to the store to get some things. Came home and ate, got on the computer, and now I'm talking to my sister again. She is the one that can talk for hours on end. I'm tired and think I should go to sleep soon since I've been up since 2:00 am.
I went home after that and got on the computer until it was time to leave. Got to the appointment early. Still had to wait quite awhile, but finally around 10:20 I got in and they checked my eye pressure. Says it looks good so far. Two years ago I got holes lasered into my eyes to relieve pressure. I'm a candidate for glaucoma. I'm good till December of next year now.
Well, I had left my phone at home, so I went home to get it and went to put my window up and it wouldn't work. The trunk wouldn't work either, the sunroof, and also the dome lights. Just in October I had the same damn problem. They told me that there was a penny in the cigarette lighter that caused the fuse to blow. Well, there isn't one in there now. So, they dropped me off at home. I waited until 4:15 and called since they hadn't called me. They hadn't figured it out yet, so my car was left there and they will work on it tomorrow. Why, why, why? It's just my luck.
Well, I called B later on, but he didn't answer. I called my sister that lives close to me and she took me to the store to get some things. Came home and ate, got on the computer, and now I'm talking to my sister again. She is the one that can talk for hours on end. I'm tired and think I should go to sleep soon since I've been up since 2:00 am.
Thursday, December 8, 2011
12/8/11
Tomorrow is Friday! Woo hoo! I'm happy about this. I get to do nothing if I want to. I had to fight to get up this morning. I made it to work around 7:30 though. I don't have to be there until 8:00 but I usually get there early. There is hardly anyone there and I can relax for awhile before the day starts.
Work went by pretty damn slow today. I entered all of my payroll entries this morning and didn't have any billing to do, so I worked on a few other things, but it didn't really keep me busy enough. The time ticked away slowly. It was torture.
Tonight I got home from work and I laid down, but actually didn't fall asleep for once. I ended up going over to Office Depot and getting my organizer for the year, one of those calendar books, and stopped by TJMaxx. There I got me a book on guitar chords and a martini shaker. I was really just in the mood to look at things. Got me out of the house.
Came home and sister calls me. Perfect timing, just as I walk in the door. Talked to her for a bit and now she's calling one of my other sisters and will probably call me back before the night is through knowing her. I tried calling B, but he didn't answer. He may be asleep because he raids on World of Warcraft a lot at midnight with some Australians. He enjoys them a lot.
I feel not too bad today. Of course I'm tired as usual, but I have a tiny bit of pep in my step. I think it's a good day and I'll take it for what it's worth. I don't know how tomorrow will go, but for now, life is good.
Work went by pretty damn slow today. I entered all of my payroll entries this morning and didn't have any billing to do, so I worked on a few other things, but it didn't really keep me busy enough. The time ticked away slowly. It was torture.
Tonight I got home from work and I laid down, but actually didn't fall asleep for once. I ended up going over to Office Depot and getting my organizer for the year, one of those calendar books, and stopped by TJMaxx. There I got me a book on guitar chords and a martini shaker. I was really just in the mood to look at things. Got me out of the house.
Came home and sister calls me. Perfect timing, just as I walk in the door. Talked to her for a bit and now she's calling one of my other sisters and will probably call me back before the night is through knowing her. I tried calling B, but he didn't answer. He may be asleep because he raids on World of Warcraft a lot at midnight with some Australians. He enjoys them a lot.
I feel not too bad today. Of course I'm tired as usual, but I have a tiny bit of pep in my step. I think it's a good day and I'll take it for what it's worth. I don't know how tomorrow will go, but for now, life is good.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
12/7/11
It's Wednesday, half way through the workweek. We get lunch provided every Wednesday from our boss. It's great, but it's Italian and I don't care for Italian. I never eat it. Now, if it was Mexican food, I would gobble it up. I miss out on the free lunch every week.
My Christmas party was this last Saturday the 3rd. It was at a golf club or whatever you call them. We had cocktails from 6-7 and then dinner at 7. I had 1 drink. I was unhappy with the alcohol selection. It was very generic. My boyfriend and I ate dinner, then we left. He has a pug and he was outside in the cold. We were both worried about him so he went home to let him in. I got dropped off at home and then fell asleep. It was 8:45 pm when I got home from the party. It wasn't a very fun one this year. That's one reason why we left so early. I was disappointed.
This last Sunday I was glad that I didn't have a hangover at least. I was supposed to meet a friend, but I got stood up. This is the third time that has happened. I'm not going to make anymore plans with my friend now. What's the use when he doesn't follow through right? I did my laundry and hung out at home.
I need to call my psychiatrist because all I do is sleep. I barely get up in the mornings, I go to work, come home, and then go to sleep for awhile. I wake up a couple of times, but then go right back to sleep. I sleep like 11-12 hours a day. On the weekends I take numerous naps throughout the day. I can't seem to get enough sleep. It's frustrating. I really do think I am depressed. I don't do anything ever unless I'm obligated. I just stay home. I'm not even interested with the things I usually do on the internet and chatting with people. I don't know what to do about it. Hopefully my psychiatrist has an idea.
I have an eye appointment this Friday. It seems like I'm always going to the doctor. He lasered the holes in my eyes a couple of years ago because they weren't draining and am a likely candidate for glaucoma. I've had way less migraines since that got done. I just got done paying the $1000 deductible that my insurance doesn't pay for. $50 a month is what I paid, but I'm finally free of that bill.
Work is slow this morning and I'm not into it at all. I should be entering driver tags right now and I'm posting on Blogger. I haven't written in awhile though. Thought I'd do it before I forgot. Maybe I'll write another one if something significant happens today. I doubt it though. Nothing really significant happens in my life all that often. Well, back to work!
My Christmas party was this last Saturday the 3rd. It was at a golf club or whatever you call them. We had cocktails from 6-7 and then dinner at 7. I had 1 drink. I was unhappy with the alcohol selection. It was very generic. My boyfriend and I ate dinner, then we left. He has a pug and he was outside in the cold. We were both worried about him so he went home to let him in. I got dropped off at home and then fell asleep. It was 8:45 pm when I got home from the party. It wasn't a very fun one this year. That's one reason why we left so early. I was disappointed.
This last Sunday I was glad that I didn't have a hangover at least. I was supposed to meet a friend, but I got stood up. This is the third time that has happened. I'm not going to make anymore plans with my friend now. What's the use when he doesn't follow through right? I did my laundry and hung out at home.
I need to call my psychiatrist because all I do is sleep. I barely get up in the mornings, I go to work, come home, and then go to sleep for awhile. I wake up a couple of times, but then go right back to sleep. I sleep like 11-12 hours a day. On the weekends I take numerous naps throughout the day. I can't seem to get enough sleep. It's frustrating. I really do think I am depressed. I don't do anything ever unless I'm obligated. I just stay home. I'm not even interested with the things I usually do on the internet and chatting with people. I don't know what to do about it. Hopefully my psychiatrist has an idea.
I have an eye appointment this Friday. It seems like I'm always going to the doctor. He lasered the holes in my eyes a couple of years ago because they weren't draining and am a likely candidate for glaucoma. I've had way less migraines since that got done. I just got done paying the $1000 deductible that my insurance doesn't pay for. $50 a month is what I paid, but I'm finally free of that bill.
Work is slow this morning and I'm not into it at all. I should be entering driver tags right now and I'm posting on Blogger. I haven't written in awhile though. Thought I'd do it before I forgot. Maybe I'll write another one if something significant happens today. I doubt it though. Nothing really significant happens in my life all that often. Well, back to work!
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