1/31/13

It's Thursday and the day was okay I guess. Nothing much happened, but did get a few things done around the house and did laundry. That was so boring. I wish I had washer/dryer hookups at my apartment. It sucks. I have to go to the laundromat or do it at Gary's house. 

Didn't do any school work today. I will have to do it tomorrow and Saturday. That shouldn't be a problem though. I just have to make myself do it. Nothing is going on right now. I'm just chatting with a friend on Facebook from MDJ. She is really nice.

I have a service to go to on Saturday and then my sister is having something at her place for Superbowl Sunday. I'm not really into football, but I will go because I was invited. I'm not really feeling the whole football thing this year. I will go for a while, but not too long. I don't want to be there for hours on end. 

Tomorrow my landlord is coming by to look at my fan in my room that is broke and my gate that is falling apart. Guess I better clean up the place. I'm glad she is finally going to fix these things though. It's good. 

No word on jobs yet. I'm frustrated and depressed. I hope I get a call soon on something that works for me. I can't work for minimum wage, that is for sure. I need at least $12 an hour so I can pay my bills. I used to make $18 an hour though, so that is really low compared to what I am used to. Guess I have to start at the bottom again. 

Hope all is well!

1/29/13

What a long, boring day it was for me. I didn't nap though and that is good. It's 11:50 right now though and I should be in bed. Soon I will head there. I am tired, just not ready for bed yet. I've got a lot coming up this coming weekend, so I will be busy. 

I have a service to go to on Saturday for my step-mom's mother. She passed away recently. Then on Sunday I am supposed to go to my sister's house for the Superbowl. I'm not really sure that I want to go though. I will see if Gary wants to go. I should since I was invited. 

Did my discussion questions for school today. I need to work on my homework during the next couple of days because I won't be able to do it this weekend because I'm so busy. I hope it's not too hard to do. I will just have to make myself do it, that is all there is to it. I'm dreading it though. 

My mood is depressed, but anyone would be in my situation with finding a job. It's just not happening for me. I keep waiting and waiting for something to happen. I did get a call from a temp agency today about a couple of positions they were thinking of putting me in. I left a message with them since I missed their call and will probably hear from them tomorrow. I hope so anyway. 

Nothing is happening tonight. I am chatting with a friend off of MDJ, but that is it. I'm pretty bored, so I'm sure I will go to sleep soon. I hate it when the nights are like this. Hopefully tomorrow brings good news.    

1/28/13

It's Monday and no one likes Mondays. Nothing much is going on in my world at the moment. I am bored, but don't want to go to sleep because I will be up all night. I usually go to sleep when I am bored. Not a good thing. 

Still feeling depressed and still haven't heard from any good jobs. I did get an interview, but I had to turn it down since it was forty-five minutes from my apartment and only paid $10.45 an hour. I cannot live off that little amount. The gas alone I wouldn't be able to afford. I felt bad, but I couldn't do that. I need more money and it needs to be closer to where I live in the city. 

I went to Gary's last night. We hung out. I think I went to bed around 1:00 this morning. I couldn't sleep because I took a nap yesterday. Came home this morning and then jumped on the computer, but nothing much has been going on in the Internet world. 

I bought a file cabinet today and some toner for my printer. I've needed these things for a while. I shouldn't have spent the money though, but I had to have them. Toner for the printer was important so I can print stuff out for school. I'm glad I got that. I've been needing it for a long time. I also got me a planner. I get one every year and rely on it, so I finally got one. 

I don't have any plans this week besides school. Nothing else unless something comes up with a job or something. I would be forever grateful for that. 

1/25/13

Spent the day sleeping on and off. Mainly out of boredom. I can't stand being bored. I usually lay down for a little bit and end up falling asleep. I don't know why I do that. I may not even be tired at the time, but still end up asleep. It's weird. It's after 1:00 in the morning now and I'm awake because I did sleep today here and there. 

The other day I went to Gary's to help him with a light. I woke up grumpy for some reason. I don't think it was because I have bipolar. Everyone has a grumpy day or a bad mood day every now and then. People just assume that because I have bipolar that is the reason why and it's not. 

We got his light done and then he wanted to go to my place, so we got in my car and headed there. On the way we realized that he forgot his bag with everything in it that he needed. That put him in a little bit of a bad mood then too. Mine was starting to taper off by that time. 

Back in the car we went back to his house. I stayed for a bit, but then went home. He said he didn't want to be around someone that was grumpy because he has to put up with that at home enough. So, I just went home and did my usual, got on the Internet. He later apologized and so did I for my bad mood, but in the end, we both stayed at our own places. 

I didn't do much today. I didn't even do my discussion questions for school. I will do them tomorrow. I also have homework that is due on Sunday night. I better get on it! I always seem to wait till the last minute for some reason. It's rather annoying. I will work on it tomorrow and Sunday though, so I have time. I just have to have the motivation to do it. 

I guess I will try to go to bed. If not, I'll have to find something to do online for a while. That's okay though because I can usually find something with the support groups I am a member of.     

1/23/13

It's now Thursday since it's after midnight. Today was uneventful for me. Still trying to get a job. That will hopefully not take long. Shit, it's been eleven months that I have been looking for one. You would think I would have one by now. It's really frustrating me.

I posted on my school website the discussion questions that I need to do four days out of seven. Got that over with. Need to do it again tomorrow and Friday to get the credit for doing them. I hope I like this class that I am doing right now. It's not too bad so far, but it's going to be tricky coming up with something for my homework due on Sunday. I will have to work on that this weekend. 

I am going to Gary's tomorrow to help him with a light. I will probably stay the night, so I need to get my schoolwork done early. I don't like to rush things though. Nothing is going on tonight. I really should be in bed. I will go there soon. I don't want to sleep in too late in the morning. 

I've posted on MDJ and DS and it's quiet in both places and has been for days. A lot of people aren't really posting anything to comment on lately. I know it's late at night, but someone is usually posting comments or starting new discussions. I don't know what is up with that. 

No plans for the weekend. I don't really care for weekends because it leaves you less of a chance to get a job on those days. I did get one job that will be looking at my resume, but I don't think I will take it even if I get it because it's like 40 minutes away from me and they don't pay good money for the job that I will be doing. I won't be able to afford the gas to get there every day. It sucks. 

Well, I'm off to bed.     

1/22/13

My nose is so stuffed up it's ridiculous. I hope this is the worst of this cold I have. Gary seems to have gotten a worse cold than I have at the moment. He felt like crap for a while. I could be lucky and get over this quickly. I sure hope so. 

Posted a few discussion questions for school today. I need to start on my homework though and not wait till the last minute. It's not a very interesting class yet. Hopefully that changes soon. It's basic psychology I think. It's weird to be doing a class after a month of not doing one. I liked the break though. 

Didn't do too much today. I've got a shitload of dishes that need to be washed, but I think I will do those tomorrow. I'm not feeling it tonight. Nothing much is going on really. The Internet is slow and boring making me bored. Gary is at home bored too. I'm just going to watch some TV and then go to bed because I am not feeling really well. The best thing when you are sick is to get plenty of rest I hear. 

Tomorrow is just another day for me. It's hump day. I need to mail out a couple of things. Hopefully I remember to do this. Nothing is happening right now. I am still looking for jobs. This is frustrating for me. Nothing seems to be going right. I have applied at almost all the temp agencies and haven't gotten anything from them. 

I think it's getting time for bed. It's already 11:00 pm. I am tired and if I can breathe I can probably sleep. It sure makes it hard though constantly blowing my nose. It wakes me up too. I took a few naps today in hopes that it will make me feel better. I sure hope so. 

1/21/13

Went to Gary's last night and didn't feel well at all. I had a really bad headache and stuffed up nose. The headache was the worst of it though. It hurt me so badly that I couldn't sleep very well and I love to sleep. I bought some Benadryl on the way over to his house and it helped a little bit, but not for the headache. I think I went to bed around 12:30 this morning. 

Came home around 10:30 and read some of my chapter for school for this week. It wasn't very interesting really, but I got through it. It was like 45 pages long which was a lot of reading. I didn't do my discussion questions yet. I may do them tomorrow. I just don't feel that great. I got Gary's cold that he has and now I cannot breathe well through my nose. It's all stuffed up.

Didn't do much today. I did take a two hour nap this afternoon and that helped my headache a lot. I woke up with it this morning and it wasn't fun. I hate headaches. They take so much out of me all the time. It's a struggle. I get them often, but not as bad as the one I had yesterday and today. 

Tomorrow brings Tuesday. Everyone will be back to work and there is a possibility that I could get a call because of this. I really want to work. I'm still waiting on unemployment to send me some claim forms for this extension. I need to pay my rent, that is for sure. Nothing is happening online right now. It's rather quiet at the moment. 

Hope everyone is doing okay. 

1/18/13

It's Friday which is good for the people that work. Wish I was working. If I could just get a job that pays decent money, it would be great! Still no bites on the job market for me. I believe I got my extension for my unemployment though so that is good. I really need it to pay the bills. I'm behind on a couple of them already. 

Nothing is happening today, just like every other day in my life. Feeling depressed because of my situation of course. I think anyone would be whether they have bipolar or not. The constant worry that I feel is hard to deal with. I worry about money so much. I know there are people out there that suffer more than I am right now though. I'm lucky that I still have my own place. 

Went to Gary's yesterday. Ended up falling asleep for about three hours. Gary slept with me for about an hour then got up. We both didn't get much sleep the night before. I was awake so early yesterday. I was tired. I'm glad I got to take a nap though. Gary is sick with a cold poor guy. I hope it doesn't last long. This is the third time in like three months that he has been sick. 

I'm bored at the moment because nothing is happening on the Internet. I spend a hell of a lot of time here on the net. I love it though. I've met so many nice people online and I think it's wonderful. I communicate with people from all around the world. It's really neat that you can meet people online and keep in touch with them. I'm very thankful for the Internet. A lot of my closest friends are online. 

I hope everyone is well!  

1/17/13

It's about 6:00 in the morning on Thursday and I just went to sleep at 2:30 this morning. I have no idea what I am doing up this early. I just woke up and couldn't sleep. I need to go back to sleep though because I'm going to be really tired today if I don't. 

Gary and I went to Chuckchansi, which is an Indian Gaming Casino and met my dad, his wife, three of my sisters, and their kids. It was my dad's birthday on the 15th, so one of my sisters let me know in advance of three hours that we were going to have dinner for my dad an hour away. Nice notice huh? My family is so dysfunctional sometimes, especially with plans. There never seems to be anything planned out. It's always a spur of the moment thing. It's quite irritating sometimes. 

I haven't heard anything about a job yet. This is getting really frustrating to me. I just don't know what to think about the situation. I don't know how I'm going to pay my rent unless I get my unemployment approved. This is making me very scared. I've contacted them through email since I can never get them on the telephone, but haven't heard from them yet. They need to communicate better with people. 

Today I am going to Gary's to help him with some things. I am going to be one tired girl though since I've not gotten very much sleep. I will be hoping I get a call from a possible job that I can try to get or a temp agency job. I am praying that I do and hoping.

I guess I'm going to try to go to sleep and see if I can get some rest. It's just too early for me to be awake. My eyes are really tired, that's for sure. I just hope that I can get back to sleep. Until next time, hope all is well in your part of the world. 

1/13/13

It's Sunday now and time is flying by. It's scary because my unemployment is up in the air still. I need it to pay the bills of course. Nothing is happening today. I slept a good part of half the day away. I just could not wake up for anything. I hate it when I sleep the day away. It's annoying and I feel like I don't get anything done. 

Friday morning I met with a temp agency for 2 1/2 hours. I had to watch some videos and talk with one of the staffing employers. She is going to submit my resume to a potential employer. Will see if I can get an interview with them too. It's a half hour away which I don't like, but it's a job. It's doing payroll entries. I've not worked with payroll much in my life. I know I could learn it though and do a good job. 

Gary came over Thursday and we hung out watching TV and visiting. We got some food to go and ate at my place. It was a nice night. I had to get up early though for the appointment though so I couldn't stay up real late. It was good to see him. I don't see him enough. Only once or twice a week since we live 20 minutes away from each other. Way across town. 

I need to do some dishes, so I'm going to get that out of the way. They are piling up on me. Trash needs to be taken out too. I've just not had a lot of energy lately from depression. This is why I sleep a lot too. It's rather annoying. 

Tomorrow is Monday, so maybe I will hear from someone about the job or another job from another staffing agency. I sure hope there is something for me. I want to work. I am supposed to start school again on the 28th from my break. As long as they got my financial stuff figured out I will be able to start. My income changed since last year, so I should be able to get a Pell Grant I am hoping. I didn't qualify for it because I made too much money last year, but they are going to see if they can fix it since my income did become lower this year. 

Nothing is happening on MDJ or DS at the moment. Also on Facebook. It's pretty quiet online. I get bored when there isn't anything going on online. It will force me to do some cleaning though. 

My son got caught having a few sips of beer on New Year's and he got grounded for two weeks by my ex-husband. He didn't like it, so that is good. My ex is trying to keep him pure he says. Kids are going to drink though at some time in their life in high school though. It's just bound to happen. At least it wasn't far from home. Just across the street at his cousin's. He will learn his lesson though. 

I guess I'm off to answer any emails I have gotten and then do some cleaning. Hopefully I hear some good news about a job. That would make me feel a little better about things. I hope it's something I like also. That is important. I could alway keep looking for jobs even though I have one in case I get a better paying job. I should always be on the lookout for something better. 

Hope all is well in your part of the world. 

1/8/13

It's the 8th of January already. It's going by quick. I wish it would slow down. Guess that is what happens when you get older. I still have not gotten any bites on jobs. I keep praying and hoping that one comes up soon. I'm depressed because of my situation. Medications probably would not help, but I will ask my psychiatrist and see what he says when I see him. 

Nothing is going on tonight. The Internet is slow going. Nothing is getting posted on MDJ or DS and my email is empty. Nothing to do. I think I will go to bed here pretty soon. I am tired, but I did sleep a lot today. I hate when I sleep a lot. I feel like I don't get anything done. It's the depression I'm sure that is causing me to sleep. 

I'm bored and lonely tonight. I get lonely when I'm not around Gary a lot. I enjoy his company and it's hard to come home to an empty apartment after spending time with him. I've been spending quite a lot of time with him actually. Just makes it even harder when alone at home. 

I'm still waiting on my unemployment. I sent an email asking about it but it takes them a couple of days to get back to me. It's impossible to try to get anyone on the phones. Their call volume is ridiculous. I think it's just easier to email then people. I will look forward to hearing what they have to say about my situation. It needs to be resolved. 

I'm getting tired again, so I will probably hit the bed sometime soon. Tomorrow brings nothing that I know of. Hopefully I get a call about a job. That would be nice. I can hope. It's cold outside and I have my heater going, but I don't want to run it up too high. This last bill was $75 which isn't too bad, but it's usually cheaper than that. I've just been running my heater too high during the day since I'm always home. I get cold really easy.

Well, I'm off to bed I think. Hope everyone is doing okay. 

1/7/13

It's now the seventh of January. It's going by very quickly. I haven't heard anything from the unemployment office. I sent them an email, but it will probably take a few days to get back to me. I really hope my extension comes through. All this stuff that was going on about extensions has been approved for another year, so it shouldn't be a problem. I'm really nervous though because things just don't go right for me a lot of the time. 

Still putting resumes out and testing for temp agencies. There has to be something that comes up. I keep praying that something good happens and I'm able to afford to live on my own as I am now. I've put a lot of effort into finding a job, now I just need someone to give me a chance to prove myself. 

I went to Gary's the night before last and yesterday we did some cleaning. He needs help because of his back and together we did it. He's such a great guy. He came by this afternoon for a while and visited with me. It was good to see him. Even though I just saw him yesterday, I tend to miss him. This is a good thing.

It's cold here. Not as cold as other parts of the world, but it's cold to me. I am just so happy that I have central air and heating. It keeps me nice and warm. I have to watch the bills though because I don't have any income at the moment. I have to pay some bills coming up also. I hope to be able to pay them. I don't have much money left from Christmas and from my last check that I got. 

I hope everyone is doing well. My mood has been depressed, but that is because of my situation. I can only hope and pray. 

1/3/13

Today is Thursday and I'm feeling depressed. This whole job search thing is getting to me. I don't know what I am doing wrong. I'm trying so hard and it's frustrating. I've been looking for ten months and it's not getting any better. I really hope that this new year brings good things. 

Last night I went to Gary's and we hung out and watched TV. I love being near him. He's a positive thing in my life and does so much for me. He really is a gem. I got up around 10:00 this morning and headed home around noon. 

I'm on a break from school because I owe a balance and we are trying to get a Pell Grant to cover it since there is a change in my income since last year's taxes. I filled out the paperwork and the leave of absence today and got it faxed over to them. Now, I wait. Nothing worse than waiting. 

Tonight I'm bored as well as depressed. It's not a good feeling. Nothing is going on either. MDJ, DS, Facebook, and email are all quiet right now. Maybe it will pick up later. It's only 8:15 pm right now. It feels like it is much later to me though. 

I'm watching Vampire Diaries, but it's not keeping my attention. I keep thinking about life and all that I need. I pray I find a job really soon and can not have to worry about things as much. I worry way too much. It's impossible for me not to though. I put my worries to God, in his hands, but I still worry. I don't know how I can not worry. It's just there. 

I guess I will finish this show and hope for something to come up to do. 

1/1/13

It's 2013 now and I hope it brings better things my way. 2012 wasn't a great year for me. I went through a lot and have done a lot of worrying in this last year. I don't think I've ever worried so much before. No job, unemployment, not enough money, just a bad year all in all. I hope things get better and I can be a little more happier. 

New Year's Eve was good. Gary came over and we had a nice quiet night. We watched TV and visited. It was good to spend some time with him. It had been a few days since I'd seen him and I love his company. He is such a great guy and I love him. He's been there for me a lot in the last seven months. 

My oldest sister called me when she found out the unemployment extensions were approved and then called back at midnight to wish us a Happy New Year. I'm so glad that the extensions were approved. I am in need of one very soon. I hope they give it to me. People tell me not to worry, but it's hard not to. If they were in my position, they would be worried too. 

I think I went to bed around 1:30 this morning. Gary went to bed later than I did. I just couldn't stay up any longer. I was really tired. Watching TV makes me even more tired sometimes and that is what we were doing. I woke up around 10:00 this morning. 

Nothing much is going on today. I need to clean my apartment up. Especially my room It's a mess. I need to do some organizing in there. Nothing much is going on online at the moment. I've posted comments on MDJ and returned hugs on DS. Facebook is pretty boring. Maybe it will liven up soon. I just get bored so easily. 

I hope everyone had a nice New Year's Eve and will have a great year to come. Cheers to all!