I was really tired today. I got up from 3:00 to 4:30 this morning because I couldn't sleep. It was a kind of busy day. I went to Gary's and helped him around the house. While there, I slept for probably an hour and a half. It felt good to take a nap. I was really tired from being up in the night.
I went to the cranial sacrial massage. I laid on an aqua bed while I got the massage and it massaged my body from the feet to the neck. It felt wonderful. I opted to have the massage therapist work on me while I was on the bed because I didn't want to be there for two hours. All in all, I enjoyed it. I have two more sessions with her. I don't think I will continue after the other sessions though because I can't afford it. It is nice though to have the experience of it.
It's almost midnight here and I should be going to sleep soon. I am tired, but am not ready for bed. I hope I sleep through the night tonight. I feel bad for Gary when I wake up in the night because I don't want to keep him awake. He needs his sleep. He never really sleeps that good. He is in a lot of pain with his back the way it is.
I don't know what I will do tomorrow. I wish I could get a job. My days are boring because I don't have a lot to do. I have school work, but you can only work on that so much. I know it will be harder with school when I get a job, but I need to make a living and get off the unemployment. I hate being on it. I want to work.
My depression will hopefully be gone once I start taking the Wellbutrin. I will be on two antidepressants then. It should wipe it out. I will get that filled tomorrow I think. That will be good for me.
I'm lonely right now because I have been spending so much time with Gary. I get so used to being around him and when I am home alone, I miss him and become lonely. I don't like that feeling at all. I used to love to be alone a lot of the time, but that has changed in ever since Gary and I started seeing each other. It will be nine months here in March. That is a long time to me. I really do love him though. He is good for me.
Tonight it is boring. I'm online and nothing is happening here. I've commented on all the posts on MDJ and Facebook is really boring. I will have to think of things to do. I really should be cleaning up the apartment, but I don't have the motivation right now.
I hope all is well in your part of the world!
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
2/27/13
Had another good few days. Yesterday I went to Gary's and helped him with some stuff and spent the night. We ran a lot of errands today and I did a lot of driving. It wore me out earlier, but I took a shower and that revived me a bit. We had steak for dinner and it was really yummy.
Went to Best Buy today and picked up a TV for my living room. It's much better. Bigger and higher quality to look at. I'm really liking it. We are at my house tonight and I cannot go to sleep yet. It's almost midnight.
Got my school questions done for the day, so that is taken care of. Now I just have two more days of questions and then I turn in my assignment on Sunday. I hope I do well on it. I just need to spend more time on my reading and not procrastinate and start my assignments early. That will improve my grade.
I'm not depressed very much right now, so this is good. I do need to get my prescription filled for my Wellbutrin though. I will do that within the next few days. I will be happy when I get that in my system.
One of my younger sisters got me a massage. Cranial something or other. I go to my session tomorrow and I'm looking forward to it. I'm sure it will be relaxing. I get to lay on an aqua bed for a half hour whatever that it before I get the massage. That was nice of my sister to get that for me. She thinks it will help my depression. I don't know about that, but you never know.
I will have to take Gary home tomorrow and then go to my appointment at 5:00. I will probably go to Gary's from there, I don't know. I don't really have any other plans for tomorrow. It will hopefully be a mellow day for me.
I hope everyone is well!
Went to Best Buy today and picked up a TV for my living room. It's much better. Bigger and higher quality to look at. I'm really liking it. We are at my house tonight and I cannot go to sleep yet. It's almost midnight.
Got my school questions done for the day, so that is taken care of. Now I just have two more days of questions and then I turn in my assignment on Sunday. I hope I do well on it. I just need to spend more time on my reading and not procrastinate and start my assignments early. That will improve my grade.
I'm not depressed very much right now, so this is good. I do need to get my prescription filled for my Wellbutrin though. I will do that within the next few days. I will be happy when I get that in my system.
One of my younger sisters got me a massage. Cranial something or other. I go to my session tomorrow and I'm looking forward to it. I'm sure it will be relaxing. I get to lay on an aqua bed for a half hour whatever that it before I get the massage. That was nice of my sister to get that for me. She thinks it will help my depression. I don't know about that, but you never know.
I will have to take Gary home tomorrow and then go to my appointment at 5:00. I will probably go to Gary's from there, I don't know. I don't really have any other plans for tomorrow. It will hopefully be a mellow day for me.
I hope everyone is well!
Monday, February 25, 2013
2/25/13
I've had a great weekend. This is good too. I of course went to Gary's on Friday like I said and then Saturday I stayed home. Sunday I finished my homework and then went back to Gary's and did laundry and hung out. I was asleep by 9:30 though which is really early for me. I was really tired though obviously.
Today we worked on a project that Gary is doing and then ate. I came home this afternoon and now I miss him. I enjoy spending time with him and his company makes me really happy. He is a great guy and is good for me.
I've not been very depressed. When I get some money, I will get my prescription for Wellbutrin and that will help a lot and hopefully wipe out the depression that I have. It would be really nice to not be depressed at all. My mood has been pretty good though because things are going good.
I get to do some reading for school tomorrow. It will probably be boring, but it has to be done. I have a whole new week. New assignment and questions to answer four out of seven days. I like it, but need to apply myself more in my opinion.
Nothing is going on tonight here at home or online. I am caught up on MDJ and DS. Facebook is pretty boring right now also. Not many people are posting things. I haven't posted on there in quite a while.
I'm enjoying the Mac that Gary sold to me. It's a totally different computer than the Windows computers. It's neat though and they last a long time. That is why they cost so much. They are high quality and I'm glad I got it. I think it's a good investment.
I think I will go to bed soon and hopefully get up early tomorrow. I need to start getting up early so I'm prepared for a job when it happens. Still no luck in that department. I'm really getting no leads. I hope soon that someone will have something for me. I've registered with most of the temp agencies in the city. There has to be something soon. I keep praying about it.
Well, I'm off to relax and get ready for bed. I hope all is well!!
Today we worked on a project that Gary is doing and then ate. I came home this afternoon and now I miss him. I enjoy spending time with him and his company makes me really happy. He is a great guy and is good for me.
I've not been very depressed. When I get some money, I will get my prescription for Wellbutrin and that will help a lot and hopefully wipe out the depression that I have. It would be really nice to not be depressed at all. My mood has been pretty good though because things are going good.
I get to do some reading for school tomorrow. It will probably be boring, but it has to be done. I have a whole new week. New assignment and questions to answer four out of seven days. I like it, but need to apply myself more in my opinion.
Nothing is going on tonight here at home or online. I am caught up on MDJ and DS. Facebook is pretty boring right now also. Not many people are posting things. I haven't posted on there in quite a while.
I'm enjoying the Mac that Gary sold to me. It's a totally different computer than the Windows computers. It's neat though and they last a long time. That is why they cost so much. They are high quality and I'm glad I got it. I think it's a good investment.
I think I will go to bed soon and hopefully get up early tomorrow. I need to start getting up early so I'm prepared for a job when it happens. Still no luck in that department. I'm really getting no leads. I hope soon that someone will have something for me. I've registered with most of the temp agencies in the city. There has to be something soon. I keep praying about it.
Well, I'm off to relax and get ready for bed. I hope all is well!!
Sunday, February 24, 2013
2/24/13
It's 1:30 in the morning and I'm awake. I will be going to bed soon though. I am tired, but I had a little bit of a nap tonight. That is probably part of why I am still awake. I also didn't take my medication until after midnight. I forgot to take it at 9:00. I should be getting really tired soon. Gary says my medication makes me tired. He's been paying attention to it.
Stayed at Gary's last night and we did some work and cleaned and moved around his room. It looks better and bigger now that we moved things. He was happy. This morning we went to Home Depot and got a board cut for a project he is working on.
I came home this afternoon and did my questions for school. My assignment is due tomorrow, so I need to work on that. Gary is going to come over in the morning and visit while his daughter is at church. It will be nice to see him. I enjoy being around him.
I'm feeling better. Not so depressed. I got a prescription for Wellbutrin when I saw my psychiatrist, so as soon as I get some money I will get that. This should help me with the depression and hopefully help keep it away. I hate feeling depressed. It's not a good feeling at all.
Tomorrow after Gary leaves, I need to work on my homework and get it turned in. I hope it doesn't take that long. I got a C on my midterm which isn't good, but it could be worse. I'm not really into the class, but I better start paying more attention to it. I want to get a good grade and do well in it.
It's too late for me to be awake. I have to get up at 8:00 in the morning. That leaves me six hours to sleep and that isn't enough. I will be tired tomorrow. I will have to take a nap more than likely. I hope all you people are doing good. I'm off to bed.
Stayed at Gary's last night and we did some work and cleaned and moved around his room. It looks better and bigger now that we moved things. He was happy. This morning we went to Home Depot and got a board cut for a project he is working on.
I came home this afternoon and did my questions for school. My assignment is due tomorrow, so I need to work on that. Gary is going to come over in the morning and visit while his daughter is at church. It will be nice to see him. I enjoy being around him.
I'm feeling better. Not so depressed. I got a prescription for Wellbutrin when I saw my psychiatrist, so as soon as I get some money I will get that. This should help me with the depression and hopefully help keep it away. I hate feeling depressed. It's not a good feeling at all.
Tomorrow after Gary leaves, I need to work on my homework and get it turned in. I hope it doesn't take that long. I got a C on my midterm which isn't good, but it could be worse. I'm not really into the class, but I better start paying more attention to it. I want to get a good grade and do well in it.
It's too late for me to be awake. I have to get up at 8:00 in the morning. That leaves me six hours to sleep and that isn't enough. I will be tired tomorrow. I will have to take a nap more than likely. I hope all you people are doing good. I'm off to bed.
Saturday, February 23, 2013
2/22/13
Did my questions for school today, got that out of the way early. Didn't do anything until this afternoon. I went to Gary's and helped him with his room. We moved some things around and it looks better now. There seems to be more space in the room.
I've felt a little better lately, so this is good. I saw my psychiatrist today and got a prescription for Wellbutrin again. I need it for my depression. I don't spend too much time in there with him because I'm pretty stable and don't have a lot of problems with my medications. I just tell him that I'm depressed when I am and how I'm sleeping and stuff like that. He is nice.
Nothing is going on tonight. I am at Gary's still and spending the night. We have been spending more time together lately and it's nice. Tomorrow I have to do my school questions and work on my homework that is due on Sunday. I hope I do alright on it.
Nothing else to report. I hope everyone is doing good.
I've felt a little better lately, so this is good. I saw my psychiatrist today and got a prescription for Wellbutrin again. I need it for my depression. I don't spend too much time in there with him because I'm pretty stable and don't have a lot of problems with my medications. I just tell him that I'm depressed when I am and how I'm sleeping and stuff like that. He is nice.
Nothing is going on tonight. I am at Gary's still and spending the night. We have been spending more time together lately and it's nice. Tomorrow I have to do my school questions and work on my homework that is due on Sunday. I hope I do alright on it.
Nothing else to report. I hope everyone is doing good.
Thursday, February 21, 2013
2/21/13
Well, it's Thursday now. It's been a while since I've written. Been busy I guess. I've been spending the last few days with Gary and we've had a nice time together. Just kicking back and visiting is a great thing to do. Enjoying the other person's company is a great way to spend your time.
We moved the living room around yesterday at my apartment and it looks much better. It's more open and you can sit comfortably watching the television now. I'm glad Gary talked me into it. I needed to get that done. It was a good idea.
Valentine's Day, we went to eat at Applebee's and had steaks and then went to the movies. It was a nice night. After that, we just came home and visited and hung out watching the television. Nothing much else to do, but it was really nice. I love spending time with him.
I'd been really depressed, but I'm feeling better now. I don't know why. I'm just glad that it has moved on from me. I think I'm always a little depressed, but not even close to where I was before I got diagnosed with bipolar. That was awful. I hate that feeling.
Did my school discussion questions and got them out of the way before tonight. Ran errands today. I got a Chromebook this morning and it's really neat. Now I don't have to wait seven minutes for my laptop to load. This one loads in seven seconds. It's really nice. They aren't that expensive either.
I hope I am able to sleep tonight. The last two nights I've woken up early in the morning for an hour or so. I have been able to get back to sleep, but I don't want to wake up in the first place. Maybe tonight I will get solid sleep.
Nothing is happening tomorrow that I can think of. I'm just going to be working on my school work. I don't think I have anything else to do. I'm just bored lately when I am home alone. I don't like it when I am home alone. I like it when Gary is here or I am over there. It's someone to talk to and something to do.
I guess I will turn on the television and see what is on. Probably nothing. Hope everyone is doing okay.
We moved the living room around yesterday at my apartment and it looks much better. It's more open and you can sit comfortably watching the television now. I'm glad Gary talked me into it. I needed to get that done. It was a good idea.
Valentine's Day, we went to eat at Applebee's and had steaks and then went to the movies. It was a nice night. After that, we just came home and visited and hung out watching the television. Nothing much else to do, but it was really nice. I love spending time with him.
I'd been really depressed, but I'm feeling better now. I don't know why. I'm just glad that it has moved on from me. I think I'm always a little depressed, but not even close to where I was before I got diagnosed with bipolar. That was awful. I hate that feeling.
Did my school discussion questions and got them out of the way before tonight. Ran errands today. I got a Chromebook this morning and it's really neat. Now I don't have to wait seven minutes for my laptop to load. This one loads in seven seconds. It's really nice. They aren't that expensive either.
I hope I am able to sleep tonight. The last two nights I've woken up early in the morning for an hour or so. I have been able to get back to sleep, but I don't want to wake up in the first place. Maybe tonight I will get solid sleep.
Nothing is happening tomorrow that I can think of. I'm just going to be working on my school work. I don't think I have anything else to do. I'm just bored lately when I am home alone. I don't like it when I am home alone. I like it when Gary is here or I am over there. It's someone to talk to and something to do.
I guess I will turn on the television and see what is on. Probably nothing. Hope everyone is doing okay.
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
2/12/13
Well, tomorrow is Wednesday already. I had an interview with a temp agency I've never heard of before this morning. They called me yesterday saying they saw me on Monster.com and wanted me to come in and meet with them. So, I did and got that out of the way. Maybe a job will come of this temp agency. The other ones aren't calling me so far. I'm discouraged every day that I don't get a call. I'm doing all I can with the situation of looking for a job.
I went to Gary's on Sunday night and then on Monday afternoon we cleaned some of his garage. It wasn't too much work, so that was good. Just moved some things around. We watched a movie and I stayed another night. It was really good to spend time with him. We don't spend enough time together in my opinion. Just a couple times a week we see each other.
This morning was the interview and then I went and got some jeans and did some window shopping. I was bored, so that gave me something to do. I did do some discussion questions for school, so I got that out of the way for the day early. I haven't really done a whole lot today. I was up at seven though and should go to bed soon. I'm getting tired. I don't know what tomorrow will bring.
Valentine's Day is right around the corner and I'm a little excited. I haven't celebrated this day in many years because my ex and I never did anything on that day. I got Gary some things and I think we are going to go out to eat. It will be early though because we don't want to go when it's really busy and Valentine's Day is a busy night to go out. So, I hope it's a good day. I will be happy since I'm spending it with my love.
I hope everyone is well!
I went to Gary's on Sunday night and then on Monday afternoon we cleaned some of his garage. It wasn't too much work, so that was good. Just moved some things around. We watched a movie and I stayed another night. It was really good to spend time with him. We don't spend enough time together in my opinion. Just a couple times a week we see each other.
This morning was the interview and then I went and got some jeans and did some window shopping. I was bored, so that gave me something to do. I did do some discussion questions for school, so I got that out of the way for the day early. I haven't really done a whole lot today. I was up at seven though and should go to bed soon. I'm getting tired. I don't know what tomorrow will bring.
Valentine's Day is right around the corner and I'm a little excited. I haven't celebrated this day in many years because my ex and I never did anything on that day. I got Gary some things and I think we are going to go out to eat. It will be early though because we don't want to go when it's really busy and Valentine's Day is a busy night to go out. So, I hope it's a good day. I will be happy since I'm spending it with my love.
I hope everyone is well!
Friday, February 8, 2013
2/8/13
It's Friday today and people are ready for the weekend. Wish I had a job to look forward to the weekend with. I keep praying about it. I hope soon that something will come up for me. The temp agencies haven't even called. It's weird that they haven't. I sure hope something comes up soon.
I'm over at Gary's and have been awake since 6:00 this morning. The cat was walking all over me wanting to go out, so it's the cat's fault that I'm awake. It's almost 8:00 now. I've already gone to Starbucks and got some coffee. Had a smoke. Now I'm just sitting here watching TV and on the computer. Kind of boring. I'd rather be asleep. I went to bed at 1:30, so I didn't get a whole lot of sleep.
I've got to do discussion questions for school today and start my homework. It's a hard one this week. I have to do a PowerPoint presentation and I'm not very good at PowerPoint. I need to play with it more or take a tutorial or something. I just don't get it to make it look nice.
I was feeling really depressed about three days to four days ago. I was only taking half my dose of antidepressant so I could spread it out till I got my prescription from the clinic. It caused that horrible depression. I got my Viibryd yesterday thank goodness, so I am feeling better now. It's weird how fast you can become depressed.
Nothing planned today. I'm going to get an early birthday gift/ Valentine's Day gift for Gary while I have the money. I don't want to wait till it's gone and then can't get him anything. That wouldn't be good. I hope he likes it.
This weekend I will just be working on my homework and that's about it. I will have to force myself to work on it and get it done by Sunday. Should be okay though. Just need to practice some self discipline.
I hope all is well with everyone!
I'm over at Gary's and have been awake since 6:00 this morning. The cat was walking all over me wanting to go out, so it's the cat's fault that I'm awake. It's almost 8:00 now. I've already gone to Starbucks and got some coffee. Had a smoke. Now I'm just sitting here watching TV and on the computer. Kind of boring. I'd rather be asleep. I went to bed at 1:30, so I didn't get a whole lot of sleep.
I've got to do discussion questions for school today and start my homework. It's a hard one this week. I have to do a PowerPoint presentation and I'm not very good at PowerPoint. I need to play with it more or take a tutorial or something. I just don't get it to make it look nice.
I was feeling really depressed about three days to four days ago. I was only taking half my dose of antidepressant so I could spread it out till I got my prescription from the clinic. It caused that horrible depression. I got my Viibryd yesterday thank goodness, so I am feeling better now. It's weird how fast you can become depressed.
Nothing planned today. I'm going to get an early birthday gift/ Valentine's Day gift for Gary while I have the money. I don't want to wait till it's gone and then can't get him anything. That wouldn't be good. I hope he likes it.
This weekend I will just be working on my homework and that's about it. I will have to force myself to work on it and get it done by Sunday. Should be okay though. Just need to practice some self discipline.
I hope all is well with everyone!
Sunday, February 3, 2013
2/3/13
Today is Superbowl Sunday. Fun, fun. Not! I'm not very into football and I don't really care to sit and watch it. Maybe I'm just not in the mood today, I don't know. I am going to my oldest sister's place for the game and food. She is making lots of food, so I won't go hungry. I don't plan on staying for the whole game. That would just be too boring for me. It will be nice to visit with her though.
I've done all my discussion questions for the week for school and have written out my assignment that is due today. Now I just have to type it out and submit it. I will be glad when I finish that and can relax a little better. I think I will do that before I head over to my sister's so it's out of the way.
Gary was supposed to go with me to my sister's, but has decided to stay at home today. This kind of hurt my feelings, but I'll get over it. It just upsets me because we've been planning this for a week to go over there and visit. I guess he has better plans.
I'm feeling depressed ever since yesterday. I know it's got to do with the job hunt and not finding any work, but I'm also only taking half my antidepressant every day. I'm almost out and the Viibryd hasn't come in at the clinic. I am hoping it comes in this next week because I really need it to not be so depressed. It sucks having to count on medications to manage my mood. I am thankful that they are there to take though.
I went the service for my step-mom's mom yesterday by myself. I didn't really know many people there. It was a nice service. Made me tear up when people were sharing their experiences with the person in their life. Feeling depressed didn't help either. I think that is a lot of the reason why I was so easily tearful.
It was a long, hard day for me yesterday because I didn't get a lot of sleep and I had an hour drive there and back. I was exhausted when I got home. I did take a small nap, but it didn't help much. I think I went to bed around midnight. I woke up a couple times an hour each time, so that doesn't help me get the sleep I need. I'm a little tired today.
Nothing else has been going on. I went to Gary's the other night and we watched a movie. It was about a guy that has bipolar disorder, but that wasn't the main focus. I always find it interesting in how people portray the way it is having bipolar. I don't think it's very accurate most of the time. People just don't understand unless they are in the person's shoes that have bipolar or any mental illness. It's very understood and people need to become more educated in this area.
I hope all is well with everyone and a good day is had by all.
I've done all my discussion questions for the week for school and have written out my assignment that is due today. Now I just have to type it out and submit it. I will be glad when I finish that and can relax a little better. I think I will do that before I head over to my sister's so it's out of the way.
Gary was supposed to go with me to my sister's, but has decided to stay at home today. This kind of hurt my feelings, but I'll get over it. It just upsets me because we've been planning this for a week to go over there and visit. I guess he has better plans.
I'm feeling depressed ever since yesterday. I know it's got to do with the job hunt and not finding any work, but I'm also only taking half my antidepressant every day. I'm almost out and the Viibryd hasn't come in at the clinic. I am hoping it comes in this next week because I really need it to not be so depressed. It sucks having to count on medications to manage my mood. I am thankful that they are there to take though.
I went the service for my step-mom's mom yesterday by myself. I didn't really know many people there. It was a nice service. Made me tear up when people were sharing their experiences with the person in their life. Feeling depressed didn't help either. I think that is a lot of the reason why I was so easily tearful.
It was a long, hard day for me yesterday because I didn't get a lot of sleep and I had an hour drive there and back. I was exhausted when I got home. I did take a small nap, but it didn't help much. I think I went to bed around midnight. I woke up a couple times an hour each time, so that doesn't help me get the sleep I need. I'm a little tired today.
Nothing else has been going on. I went to Gary's the other night and we watched a movie. It was about a guy that has bipolar disorder, but that wasn't the main focus. I always find it interesting in how people portray the way it is having bipolar. I don't think it's very accurate most of the time. People just don't understand unless they are in the person's shoes that have bipolar or any mental illness. It's very understood and people need to become more educated in this area.
I hope all is well with everyone and a good day is had by all.
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