3/27/11

I stayed up till 6:00 this morning just on the internet. It was pretty boring for the most part because there wasn’t much going on on MDJ or DS or facebook or gmail or hotmail. I finally laid down though. I thought I was going to make it all night, but didn’t. Didn’t even try. I knew I could sleep in because it’s Sunday.

I woke up around 9:30 and then went back to sleep around 10:30 till 12:30. I tried calling Nat after awhile because she had wanted to go out to lunch today, but got no answer. She’s probably avoiding me because she doesn’t want to go anywhere now. That’s okay, I didn’t really feel like going anywhere anyway.

B picked me up at 4:30 and we went to the movies. We saw Limitless and it was really good. I liked it and so did B. After that, he just brought me home and we talked for a bit then he went home.

I had planned on going into work today, but decided not to since Marsha freaks out about overtime. She says we need to ask beforehand and I didn’t, so I figured she would bitch about it. I really should have though. I have a lot of work to do. I’m going to be busy tomorrow. Emily comes back tomorrow. Should be interesting.

I hope my sisters in the mountains have power now. They have been without for like a week. All the food has gone bad, so now they have to start over with that. I feel so bad for them. My youngest has been the longest without power. She has 3 girls. I guess they have been staying with friends or they all go over to one of my other sister’s houses who have power.

I’m feeling pretty down today. It’s this low grade depression. I know I’m not going to want to shower tomorrow already. I also know that I’m not going to wake up at a decent time. It’s been the norm for me for weeks. I don’t know what to do about it. I have no drive whatsoever. I will call my psychiatrist tomorrow from work and see if he calls me back with any suggestions. I hope he has some that I can try. I’m getting really tired of all of this.

I just want to feel better and things to be normal again. I get up at a decent time in the morning, shower, and go to work. Sometimes I skip a day of showering. Sometimes I just wear the same pants to work. That’s not like me at all. I need to do my pilates. I’m just getting fatter. I just don’t have the drive that I used to have anymore. It’s discouraging.

I hope I’m able to sleep tonight. If not, I will just feel like shit tomorrow and probably be unproductive. I have to be focused tomorrow, not tired. I will try to go to bed here in a little bit. It’s worth a try. My psychiatrist appointment isn’t until the 6th of April, so that is why I am going to call him tomorrow. That’s quite a wait for me.